Bloody Scars
by briar black death rose
Summary: Again and again, he hurts him. Ichigo doesn't understand what he does wrong, why can't he ever make him happy? Why does he deserve this? Why can't Aizen love him. Then, one day he meets Grimmjow, a man he once went to school with but doesn't remember him. Grimmjow wants to save Ichigo, but at what price? Warning: AU, OOC and character death and rape. lots of dark shit.
1. Chapter 1

**_Briar: So, this is rated M for a reason. Also, I made Ichigo 5'3" just 'cause it'd be cute to see him small and i've never really done it before so deal with it._**

 _Leave me alone, please._

The only barrier between Kurosaki Ichigo and his boyfriend was a white wooden door. Sosuke Aizen continued the loud banging, causing Ichigo to jump. The noise was most likely created by Aizen slamming his fist against the wall. It was the same endless cycle once Aizen got wound up and began to drink but Ichigo should have known better. If he hadn't asked what had happened Aizen wouldn't have gotten angry at him and they might have gone to bed peacefully. If only Ichigo wasn't so stupid he wouldn't have to suffer the repercussions for his actions.

"You stupid bitch!" Aizen slurred. "Open the damn fucking door, now!"

Curling into a tighter ball, Ichigo's entire frame shook in fear. His breathing was shaky as he tried to remind himself that he was safe in the bathroom with the door locked. That was a lie he told himself. There was no stopping Aizen when he was in a rage. Ichigo's heart still managed to hammer against his chest just like Aizen's fist against the door though. _Ba bump, ba bump._

It was obvious to Ichigo that his boyfriend of eight years was intoxicated or else he wouldn't be as wound up as he was. He could still be as furious sober but most of the time Aizen had some sort of alcohol in his system. Ichigo wondered what Aizen spent his money on today. What was it, tequila? Whiskey? Vodka? Ichigo had run to the bathroom as soon as he heard the door slam open. Even if Aizen was drunk it wouldn't be too hard for him to break the door off its hinges; it happened before. There was no stopping Aizen on a rampage and Ichigo would be the target of Aizen's aggression.

"Fuck!" Aizen cursed. "Ichigo! Don't make me repeat myself again. Open the goddamn door, now!"

The outburst had Ichigo pause in rocking his body back in forth; something he was unware of until now. The sound of beer cans being pushed around reached Ichigo's ears and more drunken nonsense spewed from his mouth. However, the sound of Aizen's footsteps had Ichigo's breath hitch in his throat, knowing that Aizen's drunken mind had formulated some sort of devious plan. In case he decided to kick down the door, Ichigo scooted back so that he was against the bathtub. It was only a few feet from the door but it was better to be safe than sorry. Either way he was trapped and cornered and once Aizen got that door out of the way Ichigo would feel Aizen's wrath.

 _He's gonna kick down the bloody door and finally kill me,_ Ichigo thought to himself.

Light rapping against the door had Ichigo looking at his barrier in confusion, unsure of what would happen next. Aizen was unpredictable and could be loving one moment then beating him the next. There was no point in Ichigo holding a weapon because Aizen would use it against him. Ichigo had learned his lesson the hard way and had a scar above his eyebrow where Aizen had cut him. Aizen was over six feet tall while Ichigo was 5'3". There was about an eight inch difference. Aizen wasted most of his and Ichigo's money on his alcohol leaving little to no room for food. Food banks doled out their donations but when angry Aizen threw the food out or would eat it when he decided to get stoned.

"Ich," Aizen whispered softly. "I didn't mean it. Please, let me in. I'm sorry; I love you. Please let me in."

 _Don't call me that anymore. I'm not your Ichi; I'm nothing._

The request was stuck in Ichigo's mouth just like every other time he tried to speak against Aizen. There was no bravery left in Ichigo after Aizen beat it out of him. It wasn't out of hatred, that's what Ichigo told himself. It was his mistakes that caused him to get hurt and if he wasn't so stupid Aizen wouldn't have to get angry.

"Please baby," Aizen begged. "You ignoring me like this makes me want to go kill myself. Please talk to me. Don't make me use the knife to cut out my heart. Will you be satisfied then? When I'm dead and gone?"

Pulling on his orange locks, Ichigo began to rock back and forth in an attempt to cope with his anxiety. It was skyrocketing, giving him problems breathing as pain emerged from his chest as he could feel sweat form. He reeked of fear and was unable to calm himself. He could feel the cold sweat drenching his form.

Words began to form in Ichigo's mind. Words, definitions and how to use them. It was a way to calm himself down since the beatings begun. Even before then Ichigo was quite the logophile and lexiconophilist. As he rocked back and forth he remembered words that were both unique and complete.

 _Flibbertigibbet: Noun. Means someone who is a frivolous, flighty or someone who talks way too much,_ Ichigo thought to himself as he tried to calm himself down.

"J-just l-l-leave me a-alone!" Ichigo begged with tears streaming down his face.

"Fine!" Aizen snapped angrily and hit the door once more. "You no good fuckin' cunt, see how I feel once I leave your ass for good. Won't be laughing then when you're on the street and have to sell yourself like the whore you are!"

 _Dichotomy: Noun. Division or contrast between two things that are opposed or different from one another. A contrast._

Ichigo began to shake his head in the negative as his rocking stopped only to have him wrap his arms around himself even tighter. The sound of dishes breaking against the tiling had Ichigo jump, the tears that had been falling down his face becoming noticeable as they landed on his arms. It went on for a few minutes, the breaking of dishes, cupboard slamming and a loud thud as well as a crash. If Aizen had brought home any glass bottles the shattering smash was what Ichigo heard from the bathroom.

"Just a dirty whore," Ichigo muttered to himself as the glass door to their home slammed shut.

Knowing that Aizen had left, no doubt to get more alcohol from a bar since the liquor stores were closed. Ichigo opened the cupboard where they kept towels. Inside was a Q-tip box that had no Q-tips. Once Ichigo found that little blue box he opened it, taking out the Ativan pills as well as the knife he kept. It wasn't a knife for self defense but rather self-harm. Underneath the long sleeved t-shirts and jeans were bruises of various colors, scars and cuts of different depths and length. Some were self-inflicted while others were caused by Aizen in his drunken rage.

"Need to learn to shut my mouth," Ichigo whispered to himself as he looked back and forth to the Ativan.

The medication Ichigo had was bought off of the streets was better than taking marijuana to calm down and far less noticeable. Once when Aizen caught him drinking a glass of whiskey and the result was his hand slapped so that the glass spilled onto the carpet, staining it. That wasn't all though, since he was near their small kitchen his head was slammed into the wall. There was still a dent from the impact and Ichigo had passed out. He would have went to the hospital to see if he had a concussion but Aizen refused to let him go, pleading and when that didn't work he held Ichigo down with one hand and began to grasp his throat. He refused to remove his hands until Ichigo promised not to go to the hospital.

"He won't notice the cuts," Ichigo decided.

It was a true statement. Even if he did, it was safe for Aizen to assume he had blacked out at some point and began to cut Ichigo. Just the thought had Ichigo shaking more at Aizen returning even more intoxicated and demanding sex. And what Aizen wanted, Aizen got.

"It'll be alright," Ichigo promised himself.

Rolling up his sleeve. Ichigo looked at his pale skin. Some scares were a shiny pink while others were a dull pink, almost white. If he were a darker tone the scars would be less noticeable but he had lost some skin tone with being inside aside from the few hours a week he got from working at a corner store. This was the only pleasure Ichigo ever seemed to get, cutting his wrists or any surface available. As the blade dug into his skin he began to calm down. The pain was minimal compared to what he normally endured. Ruby red blood emerged from the scars and a warm smile formed on Ichigo's face as it splattered onto the bathroom tiles.

 _Can't stop._

Another slash. More blood.

 _Won't stop._

 _Splat!_

To Ichigo he didn't feel any warmth from the blood that leaked from his body. He could only stare at the blood that came from his arms but it wasn't deep enough for Ichigo. The wound he had created seemed too shallow and cut even deeper. Wiping the blood from the cut, Ichigo went even deeper. It gave him the satisfaction, a smile forming on his face. This was his only safety. The one thing that he could control in his life. Something that Aizen could never take away from him.

 **Briar: Thank you guest review who pointed out I wrote Quinto instead of Ichigo. I was working on a different story and musta mad an error**


	2. Chapter 2

Ichigo didn't know when he fell asleep, whether it was voluntary or not, but the rapping of a fist against the door woke him up. It caused Ichigo to flinch, and he notice how bloody his arms were. Thankfully he was wearing black and the blood had absorbed into the fabric. It wasn't as noticeable but he would still have to change. There was a spare pair of pants in the laundry hamper on the top that was somewhat clean. A quick change wouldn't hurt and whoever at the door wasn't Aizen.

The knocking continued only for Ichigo to realize the person, whoever it was, wouldn't leave. It was still night time judging on the dark skies Ichigo could see from his small bathroom window.

"Just a minute," Ichigo called out, his voice horse.

Turning on the tap, Ichigo began to wash his hands and watched as the blood moved down the drain. There wasn't much that he could do to conceal his wounds aside from keeping the black sweater covering his arms. It wasn't much but whoever was at the door couldn't be that important and easily fooled. If he was lucky his wounds wouldn't open up. He kept his fingers crossed that his luck wouldn't run out.

 _Breathe. In and out. Calm down. Don't let them get to you. Don't let them see your pain; your weakness._

Ichigo was sore from sleeping on the floor and the bruises on his arms and sides caused by Aizen. the beating before Ichigo had locked himself in the bathroom had left him aching and sore, wishing he wasn't daft enough to provoke Aizen's ire. He was used to the pain by now and just had to grit his teeth as he made his way to the door. The Sunnyside Apartments weren't known for their large buildings especially with their one bedroom apartments. Sunnyside? That was bullshit. The apartments held nothing more than drug dealers, young moms or welfare moms and drinkers. Nothing but slums and referred to crap shack apartments. There were a few innocents who lived in the apartments but in the end they were tainted by the apartment's atmosphere or they couldn't handle the insanity of the Sunnyside Apartments.

Another knock on the door had Ichigo look at the door with frustration as he tried his best not to show his pain. Who the hell was at his door? Was it the young mother who had child services on her ass? The lady upstairs was always complaining that the noise Aizen had woke up her son once again. She had threatened to call the police a few times because of Aizen. Or maybe it was his other neighbour hoping to borrow a lighter so she could use her bong. She had done that a few times before saying it was for cigarettes but when she opened her back door you could smell the marijuana.

"I'm almost at the door, can't a guy take a piss in peace?" Ichigo rhetorically asked, hoping the lie was heard through the door.

Swinging open the door, Ichigo felt like a bucket of ice water was dumped on his head at who stood at the door. Two gentleman in police uniforms arrived at the door with stoic expressions. They were much taller than him, the one on the left looked like he worked out while the other was more on the gaunt side. He wasn't necessarily anorexic but he didn't put that much effort into working out as his partner might,

"Kurosaki Ichigo?" the man on the left asked.

Ichigo nodded his head.

"I'm Constable Kisuke Uruhara and this is my partner Constable Mayuri Kurotsuchi," the officer introduced himself. "We're here because of the disturbance a little over an hour ago. Can we come in?"

Ichigo looked at the ground and then back at the officers. He wasn't sure if Aizen would be okay with officers entering the house. It wasn't like they did anything wrong or illegal. There were no drugs compared to some occupant's houses. When Aizen smoked marijuana it was when he went to a party. He never brought the drugs home. If Aizen came home in a drunken state then he couldn't hurt him because the officers would protect him. If they could. No one could save him and Ichigo knew that.

"Alright," Ichigo agreed softly.

"Did we wake you?" Constable Uruhara asked.

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders. "Not like I was doing anything important."

Ichigo lead them to the living room which wasn't far since the bathroom was beside the entrance and beside the bathroom was the bedroom. If you moved forward you reached the kitchen which wasn't much of a kitchen. A small countertop that would be used to eat off of like a table then on the other side was the sink, stove and oven. The fridge was on the right but wasn't much since the apartments were for poor people.

"I'd offer you a drink but all we have is tap water," Ichigo said. "Unless you're allowed to drink on the job; we have plenty of alcohol to offer."

"We're fine," Kurotsuchi said.

"You have interesting hair," Kisuke complimented. "A shade of orange such as yours. I have a cousin like that. Not many people are gingers and Asian though."

"Thanks," Ichigo replied dryly, not seeing the compliment. People called him a freak all his life for his oddity and made fun of him.

There was glass on the ground and the scent of whiskey from where Aizen no doubt smashed it into the wall. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ichigo couldn't help but scowled at the mess. The beer cans on the glass table had been knocked over and leaked onto the carpet. That was going to be a pain to get out of and Ichigo couldn't afford to rent a steam cleaner. The officers were no doubt judging him now at the state of his house. At least there were no dishes piled up to in their sink.

"Sorry about the mess," Ichigo apologized even though he wasn't sorry. "Sit wherever you want."

"Why not join us?" Kisuke offered after he sat down.

"I'm fine where I am. I prefer standing," Ichigo replied and folded his arms only to wince at the pain in his arms.

The officers noticed the wince and raised an eyebrow at the action. Ichigo didn't understand why they were hear but after the wince in pain just from crossing his arms Ichigo knew they'd be watching him more intently now.

 _Shit._

"I'm sore from lifting weights," Ichigo lied smoothly. "Trying to get fit. Want to impress my partner. Can't afford the gym so I do what I can at home."

"That's why we're here," Kisuke said. "A neighbour called saying that there was some yelling going on. There was shouting and then the sound of something smashing. Now before we start let me turn on the recorder so you don't have to repeat anything more than once. Remember, if you lie it's on the recorder. We keep these for when we do our reports later on."

"Okay. You saw the mess in the kitchen," Ichigo answered cryptically. "It was an accident. Aizen was just a little drunk and mad because I wouldn't come out of the bathroom for him. I was just a little upset."

"Things will be easier if you cooperate," Mayuri spoke up. "You need to tell us more than the simple things."

Ichigo didn't say anything, waiting for the officer to speak again. They would probably say more, trying to get him to speak. If Aizen came home drunk they could protect him now but they wouldn't be able to save him after. He didn't trust the police. Here he had the chance to escape his fate of being with a man who hurt him. However, Ichigo was a realist and knew that Aizen would manage to be free and he was resigned to his fate. There were no happy endings in this world and to believe otherwise made those with ideals as such fools.

"Ichigo?" Kisuke asked in concern.

"Hmm?" Ichigo hummed.

"I was wondering what had your partner so angered," Kisuke said.

"Nothing of importance," Ichigo responded.

"Try to remember what you dub unimportant could be important to me," Kisuke advised. "Does he hurt you?"

Ichigo looked at the floor, leaning against the kitchen counter. There was no point in letting them know about Aizen. A sigh escaped Ichigo's lips and he managed to calm himself down. It wasn't often enough he could look at others but he put on a bravado enough to fool the men in front of him. He squared his shoulders out and began to walk forward until he was in front of the officers.

"I'd advise you to leave," Ichigo replied. "I don't like what is implied. Aizen was just angry I was in the bathroom and wouldn't come out. He's a good man, a respectable man. I was sad about my job and the hours being cut, that's all. There is nothing wrong in this house. It's a mess but what man doesn't live in a pigsty. Being gay doesn't change that."

"Yet your neighbour says this happens often," Kisuke said.

Ichigo scoffed. "She doesn't know anything. She's just made we've woken up her son a few times. Please leave. You've recorded my statement and I have nothing further to say."

The two officers exchanged glances before nodding and standing up to leave. Kisuke stopped in front of Ichigo and pulled out a card. It was simple. It had Kisuke' name on the paper as well as his e-mail address and both his private and work number.

"My number," Kisuke informed Ichigo. "If anything goes wrong you can reach me at this number. The second one is my private number and easier access. First one just forwards you to my work phone and I don't check it as often."

The door slammed open, the door knob smashing into the wall with a loud bang. The noise caused Ichigo to flinch, a flinch noticed by both officers. It was obvious to them that he feared something. It wasn't just fear, it was terror. Ichigo tried to keep his composure but when Aizen was so close he wasn't sure he could. Without his knowledge, Ichigo began to move towards the corner that was his safe zone. The world was becoming too much and he felt his breathing increase.

"Ichigo, ya dirty whore! Get out of the bathroom already!" Aizen shouted.

Of course the police cars outside wouldn't bother Aizen. They were here quite often, maybe two or three times a night and Ichigo had learned to keep his mouth shut when Aizen got angry. It wasn't often they came to the B building, more so the C or the opposing A building. D Building held more drug dealers and they could conceal their marijuana within house plants.

"Ichigo!" Aizen bellowed, kicking the door and managing to break it off its hinges.

Another repair that Ichigo know he would be forced to do. The damage on the place was getting higher and higher. Soon enough they would be evicted being unable to afford the damage repairs. If the manager decided to give notice for a visit Ichigo wouldn't have enough time to fix everything or the items to conceal any holes caused by Aizen and his anger. There was too much money that would be put into fixing this place.

It didn't take long for Aizen to realize that Ichigo wasn't in the bathroom and he moved towards the living room only to be met with officers. From his spot, Ichigo could see the rage on Aizen's face.

"You fuckin' bitch! I was worried about you and you called the cops, what the hell is wrong with you?" Aizen screamed.

"Aizen Sosuke I assume," Kisuke began. "Your partner did not call us but a neighbour who wishes to remain anonymous did."

"Nosy bitch," Aizen muttered. "It was probably the woman upstairs. Woke up her kid again so she decided to pay me back."

"Mr. Sosuke, I think in the safety of Mr. Kurosaki we'll have to escort you out of the building for the night," Mayuri said.

"Are you arresting me?" Aizen asked angrily.

"No," Mayuri said. "We're wanting you to stay away from Ichigo for the night to sober you up. Considering the conditions of the home aside from the mess there is nothing wrong. Though we think you're going to harm Mr. Kurosaki in your drunken stupor."

"I wouldn't harm the man I love," Aizen insisted. "Tell him baby, tell him how much I love ya."

Ichigo looked at Aizen and noticed the lingering threat in those brown eyes. Without hesitation Ichigo looked at Constable Uruhara. He had to look convincing after all and it was stupid to support his abuser but Ichigo knew the consequences of failing Aizen.

"He won't hurt me," Ichigo said. "Aizen says he loves me. All couples have arguments. I can take care of him just fine."

"Sorry, it's not up to you to decide," Kisuke said and began to move towards Aizen.

Not liking the situation, Aizen wouldn't allow himself to be detained by the officers. When Mayuri approached Aizen there was no hesitation from the latter when he swung his fist and struck the officer. Mayuri wasn't fat but he wasn't thin either. There wasn't a lot of muscles on him and though Aizen didn't either, he had strength in fighting. Mayuri stumbled backwards, not too stunned at the fact that Aizen hit him. Aizen began to run out the door and Kisuke began to radio in about Aizen's decision not to be apprehended. Not only would he be thrown in the drunk tank, he could now be charged with assaulting an officer. It all depended on how Charle felt about the situation.

Ichigo didn't know whether to be relieved or scared. It would give Aizen a few days to dry out and lose the alcohol in his system but that meant he'd be far more irritable once he returned. Grabbing his hair, Ichigo tried to regulate his breathing.

 _I'll never escape._

Ichigo didn't realized how closed Kisuke had gotten until the man touched Ichigo's arm, causing him to stumble backwards. A quiet thud indicated that Ichigo finally hit the wall and was trapped. Cornered. Unsafe. Those were the words that ran through Ichigo's mind as his breathing became harsh and ragged. He had no idea what to do. Tears began to fall freely from his eyes as his vision blurred. There was no clear thinking, no rationality to his fears. As Ichigo fell to the floor, his back pressed against the wall he was stuck in between reality and the past memories. What Aizen had done and would do to him. Would he use weapons? Would Aizen break bones again?

The feeling of an arm touching Ichigo had his breathing pick up. He was unaware of the screams that escaped his lips. The deafening noise barely reaches his ears as he shook his head back and forth.

 _Beleaguer: Verb. Means besiege or to attack. Another meaning is harassment,_ Ichigo thought to himself, his thoughts running a mile a minute as he grabbed his hair, yanking hard in attempts to get a grip on reality.

"Ichigo calm down," a familiar voice boomed.

"Let…Go!" Ichigo screamed through ragged breathes.

Kisuke did just as Ichigo asked and watched as he was rocking back and forth violently as his body shook. Kisuke looked at Ichigo with shock and awe, not knowing what was going on in Ichigo's brain. On the outside it made Ichigo look mentally unstable when all he was trying to do was cope. He hadn't mastered the art of breathing when he went through these episodes of his. He was stuck remembering the brutal force Aizen used to strike Ichigo down. The feeling of rough fists striking his face, his arms and his sides. There was no saving himself from Aizen's wrath. The bruises would forever remain a constant mark on his matter how many times they healed that was all Ichigo saw on his arms. Vicious bruising and faded scars.

 _Flout: Verb. To reject, mock or insult,_ Ichigo thought again, the words doing nothing but have him go back to his anxiety. As hard as he tried, using many words it didn't help his breathing and it accelerated, his heart pounding harshly against his chest.

"Ichigo, breathe!" Kisuke ordered but Ichigo didn't hear him.

 _Fucking cunt,_ ran through Ichigo's mind. Aizen's voice insulting him.

It wasn't often that Aizen referred to Ichigo as a cunt unless he was black out drunk. The first time was when Ichigo had refused to go to the liquor store for Aizen, being underage and unable to buy alcohol for his boyfriend. Ichigo was three years younger than Aizen. The man had been held back a few years and that was why they were in the same grade and met one another at age fifteen. It was odd, seeing an eighteen year old in grade ten, but after he finished he went to an outreach program. The high school wasn't too fond of having an adult in high school.

At first their relationship had been sweet. The flowers, gifts and affection were everything that Ichigo ever needed. Some had called it puppy love but Ichigo didn't agree with them. Some bullied him over his homosexuality but Karakura High School had a LGBT group that wouldn't tolerate that behaviour. Ichigo could care less since he had Aizen and ignored the group as well as the girls wanting a gay best friend.

Aside from good grades, what made Ichigo's high school days was making out with Aizen either in the bushes above the school or in the back closer to where the young mom's classroom was located. A few people were disgusted at the sight but Aizen hadn't cared and continued to grope Ichigo. Not that the latter minded. They had been in the honeymoon stage of the relationship and spent a copious amount of time sucking face. Sometimes they even had a little naughty fun in the bathrooms.

Happily ever after was only for fairy tales though. Everything had gone fine and dandy until Ichigo moved in with Aizen. The man had high demands for someone who didn't clean up after himself nor did any housework. It had only been one time Ichigo had not done the dishes but that was because he had a psychics 11, English 11 and calculus 12 unit exam. For some reason the teachers planned the tests all on the same day. Ichigo had spent all night studying, wired on numerous cups of coffee just so he could retain the information. Anyone who told him that wasn't wise was a fool. It could have burned Ichigo out but he was on principles honor roll every single time. Science and math were easy for Ichigo however languages were his fault. Most of Ichigo's courses were over ninety percent averages but for English he was at a low of eighty-two percent. He wouldn't cry over it like some people would but it just meant he had to work harder.

Because of Ichigo's constant studying and all-nighters, he had fallen asleep on the couch by accident once he got back from school only to be awoken by Aizen. His lover had ripped Ichigo right off the couch only to have him forced awake and look at dirty dishes.

"Do you know what his is?" Aizen had asked a surprised Ichigo.

"A dirty dish?" Ichigo replied in confusion.

"Dishes you were supposed to do last night!" Aizen shouted as he threw the plate to the floor and grabbed Ichigo by the scruff of his shirt.

What followed next was Ichigo being hefted up and thrown down into the shattered pieces of glass. A low hiss of pain escaped Ichigo's lips and before he could do anything Aizen kicked him in the side and began stomping on Ichigo until he passed out from the pain. The bruises that were left behind were a constant reminder that week and kept Ichigo on edge.

The memory was fresh in Ichigo's mind as he began to lose an amount of oxygen intake. Kisuke had no idea what to do and was unable to reach Ichigo and could only watch as the twenty-three year old male passed out from lack of oxygen.

 **Briar: I don't know much about police workings but here in Canada a detective is used for a different type of crime. Usually for cases such as a welfare check it would be a constable not a detective.**


	3. Chapter 3

Ichigo woke up disorientated and confused. Reacting on instinct he shot up only to have someone hold him. Ichigo wanted to move around and flail, not knowing what happened but the person holding him didn't allow it. Automatically Ichigo thought it was Aizen and he was about to choke the life out of him once and for all. Ichigo didn't want to die that way and refused to stop struggling; he would die by his own hands not ones of another.

Aizen would really make Ichigo suffer if he didn't kill him. That would be worse than being tied up and chained to the bedroom for three days, only being freed for bathroom breaks when Aizen came home. All because Ichigo had a male lab partner in Biology when he was in high s chool and had to go to their house for a project. He had missed both work and school getting him fired from the coffee shop he worked for and he missed an exam with no excuse but saying he had gotten the flu. Ichigo didn't want that to happen again but he didn't have the power to overcome Aizen.

"Calm yourself," a voice ordered softly.

Kisuke was leaning over him with concern on his features. The sight had Ichigo freeze and look at Kisuke with confusion. How long had he been out? What had happened? Ichigo's amber orbs looked at Kisuke, panic evident in his eyes. He was still amazed at what happened. What was Kisuke going to do to him now that he was awake? Would he be forced to speak now?

"You passed out," Kisuke informed Ichigo. "I called an ambulance and paramedics should arrive shortly. Are you okay?"

Ichigo nodded his head, not wanting to test his voice in fear of the sound. He knew he had been terrified before he has passed out. The reason why would remain hidden, a secret that belonged only to Ichigo. They were his thoughts alone and he didn't want Aizen to catch wind of what was said between the paramedic or police officer and himself. There was no reason to give Aizen a motive to dish out punishment.

"How long are you going to keep Aizen?" Ichigo questioned Kisuke.

"Not long," Kisuke answered. "It's up to Constable Kurostuchi on whether or not to press charges but since he hates getting assaulted he'll probably press charges. If Aizen's criminal record is clean then he won't have to worry too much. We'll keep him over night to keep you safe but he'll be released by tomorrow afternoon, tomorrow evening at the latest. He'll have a court date in a month or two. He'll have to sign some paperwork and we'll have some ground rules that he'll have or else we can put him in jail. It's nothing too big. Easy stuff. Nothing to worry your pretty head over."

"I'm not pretty," Ichigo grumbled.

The sound of the door opening had reached Ichigo's ears and he noticed a man and a woman dressed in blue shirts and matching pants. They were the paramedics that Kisuke had told him about. This was the first time Ichigo had to deal with paramedics. The last time he went to the hospital was a few months ago when Ichigo had some broken ribs as well as a nose. Aizen had been resistant at first but Ichigo could barely move. He begged Aizen to let him go to the hospital and after Ichigo not moving after another shit kicking it gave Aizen the assurance that Ichigo wasn't faking anything. In the end it caused Aizen to break another rib and Ichigo could barely move without wanting to fall.

The crooked nose hadn't bothered Ichigo that much nor did all the blood that had gushed from his nose. The recovery had been painful and Aizen had stolen the amount of pain medication prescribed to Ichigo. To see his medication flushed down the toilet had Ichigo near tears not only from the action but because he had been in agony. It had been Ichigo's repercussion for not giving Aizen some money to buy vodka. It had been wasted and Ichigo was forced to deal with Aizen as he blacked out and lost control.

It wouldn't be the first time Aizen lost control and it wouldn't be the last. Yet, each time Ichigo took Aizen back because that was the only person Ichigo had left that cared for him. He had no friends after dating Aizen and he even pushed away his own family. The only one who tried to keep contact was his sister Karin, who Ichigo ignored in fear of Aizen going after her. She was one of his two siblings. There was Yuzu as well but after Ichigo was cruel enough she stopped believing in visiting Ichigo anymore.

"Ichigo Kurosaki?" asked the female paramedic.

Ichigo looked at the woman, well, more at her shoes. The chances of Ichigo looking at someone, especially eye contact was slim to none. After all the beatings Aizen gave Ichigo didn't want them seeing through his lies with eye contact. Eyes were a gateway to the soul and were as transparent as glass, revealing what the lips hid.

"Can I speak to you outside on the steps?" asked the paramedic. "My name is Unohana, but people call me Retsu and this is my partner Hanataro."

Ichigo looked at her but with no inclination to move. Kisuke could go into the kitchen and whatever this woman had to say it couldn't be that important. That was Ichigo's opinion of the situation but what did he know? He was just a civilian after all. In the end he would listen to Retsu because she was a paramedic and held much more knowledge over the situation than he did. It didn't mean he would do as they wished but that was because he didn't care.

"I want to take some vitals and blood pressure," Retsu informed. "Hanataro is going to talk to the officer. It would be easier to do that outside near our ambulance."

"I'd rather not," Ichigo protested.

"And why not?" Retsu questioned.

"Because I'm not hurt and Kisuke here just wasted his time calling you here," Ichigo replied. "I can't even afford to pay the eighty-five dollar fee you guys charge. I'll be losing out on food now because of this."

"I'm sorry that that is the case but Kisuke doesn't have the medical knowledge or training paramedics do to handle this situation," Retsu informed. "If you were seriously hurt he wouldn't be able to help you. That's why we're called. He's just following protocol. I can't force you to accept medical treatment to a hospital; that's your decision alone."

"I already told you I'd rather not," Ichigo said. "Either you're deaf or daft. Just go back to your duty and leave me alone."

"I'm just making sure you know," Retsu said.

Ichigo nodded his head, not liking the paramedic staying out longer than they needed. He was trying to drive her away but it wasn't working. Aizen had assaulted an officer, drunk at that. He wouldn't be home for a few days. Payday was tomorrow so it left money for Ichigo to buy groceries and clean up the place. All he had to do was pick up his check. Ichigo's efforts while Aizen was gone would be a waste and he'd get angry that the money was spent on something other than alcohol.

"Let's go outside," Retsu offered.

It was summertime and somewhat warm in the evenings. It hadn't rained for a while so Ichigo's steps were dry. He obliged to the paramedic's request finally, not that it would do her any good. For Ichigo none of this really mattered and he thought that Retsu was wasting her time just like Constable Uruhara. He didn't understand why these people cared so much when Ichigo was nothing but a stranger to them. There was no relationship prior from today and Ichigo hoped he wouldn't be seeing them again.

Ichigo looked at the stairs as he leaned against the cement wall that had a picket fence overtop. They painted them yellow to match the name of the apartments but it was rather futile. Yellow was an ugly color to begin with and adding it to the fence made the apartments less interesting.

There wasn't much that Ichigo wanted to talk to Retsu about and he knew she was just going to try to pursue him to talk to reveal any acts of violence towards himself. There wasn't a snowballs chance in hell Ichigo would tell her what went on. She was a stranger, a stranger that couldn't help him in the slightest. There was no point involving people who knew how to do their jobs but didn't have the ability to keep Aizen away from him forever. Ichigo was an object to Aizen and he refused to let Ichigo go.

"So, Ichigo, how old are you?" Retsu asked.

Ichigo looked at Retsu with a dull expression. Was this her idea of small talk? What part didn't she get about his thoughts of her as deaf or daft? There was nothing for her to fix and as a paramedic there wasn't much she could fix. Why would his age matter to her? To Ichigo it didn't seem that important. Ichigo clenched his fist in anger and the other hand he had wrapped around his right arm, clenching it and unknowingly opening his wounds.

"You're bleeding," Retsu noticed, the outside light revealing blood dripping from his arm.

Ichigo looked down to see the ruby red liquid at his fingertips, dripping to the ground with a soundless splat. It held no heat and Ichigo was rather surprised to see blood when he didn't think his wounds would open so easily.

"Cut myself while picking up some glass from a broken plate," Ichigo lied. "I'll clean and dress the wound later."

"When did you break glass? I didn't see any," Retsu wondered.

"Before Aizen was home. I was doing dishes," Ichigo answered not liking what was implied.

"Will you tell me your age?" Retsu asked. "You look pretty young."

"…Twenty-three," Ichigo informed after a couple minutes of indecisiveness on revealing his age or not.

"And how long have you been with Mr. Sosuke?" she questioned.

"Does it really matter?" Ichigo intoned. "I'm getting fed up to be honest. I might not look it but I'd rather you leave. I have the ability to refuse medical treatment. There is nothing going on here. It's late, I'm tired, and you're no doubt tired. Let's call it a night."

"Alright," Retsu sighed, "but at least do a favor for me, will you? Keep the card Constable Uruhara gave you. You know, in case something goes wrong."

"Okay," Ichigo agreed, not planning on doing what she told.

The only safe place for that card would be the lockers at work. There were only a few in the employee area where they kept their cleaning supplies and such and the chances of Aizen going in his locker were slim to none. Other than that there wasn't a place in the apartment that Ichigo could hide the card without Aizen stumbling upon it and beating him into submission for keeping such an item. There was no point in keeping it and Ichigo wasn't too keen on getting a beating; he never was. Though the chances were high that Aizen would beat him once he was free from the police.

"Can I ask you something," Ichigo asked Retsu.

"You just did," Retsu pointed out with a small smile on her face.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Why do you do your job? You know you can't save them all, so why?"

"Because I like being able to help others," Retsu asked, "or that's what a typical answer you would get. To be honest, I'm not quite too sure. It was there, I needed money and I haven't found anything else. Now, let me ask you something. Why do you stay?"

"Same answer you gave me," Ichigo replied and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the night had gone by as easy as cleaning up oil. Ichigo grew restless and barely got any sleep only to wake up at seven in the morning to his house phone ringing loudly. It hurt Ichigo's ears and the ringing had been persistent to the point of no return. In the end Ichigo answered the phone tiredly and learned it had been work. He was now three hours into his shift, bored out of his mind as the sun shined through the store. There were barely any customers and it was a weekday.

Ichigo didn't know why he worked at a convenience store when he could have worked at a grocery store. Yes, he got fulltime hours here unlike a grocery store but if the money didn't go straight to the bills then it went to Aizen. The downside to Paypass was the lack of a pin' just tap and go. If Ichigo didn't pull out the rent money or e-transfer the funds to the utilities then they weren't paid and they'd had enough strikes that water would be shut off.

Sometimes they were behind on rent so both paychecks went to rent in a bi-weekly pay system, alcohol and every two months it went to hydro. There were many times Ichigo starved to pay the bills and his little sister Karin had tried to get Ichigo over for dinner but he refused. There were a few incidents when Karin was used as a threat to get Ichigo to do what Aizen wanted. Karin was only born a few years before Ichigo was born. Ichigo was born in July while Karin was born May. She was the only one who refused to leave Ichigo's side even after all the times he had tried to push her away.

It was the sound of the door chiming that finally alerted Ichigo that someone arrived in the store and that he had a potential customer. There was a silent prayer in Ichigo's mind that it wasn't Aizen who demanded to use Ichigo's bank card for buying alcohol. Every so often it happened and one time his boss had threatened to call the police on Aizen.

What surprised Ichigo was the male in his shop that was 6'1". Being the summer, it was hot and the mystery man in the store wore no shirt, knee length running shorts and sneakers. His washboard abs were seen and when he turned his back to grab a sports drink Ichigo couldn't help but look at the corded muscles on his back. The Adonis lines that were revealed, accompanied by the sun kissed skin had Ichigo practically drooling over a male that hot. Not many males in Karakura Town were attractive, let alone model material but this guy had to be out of town. When their eyes met Ichigo felt a blush rise to his cheeks and he looked down to the lottery tickets under the glass counter.

"E-Excuse me…I-I n-need you t-t-o p-p-put on a shirt," Ichigo informed, only wanting to smash his face into the counter.

 _What am I, a middleschooler?_ Ichigo thought to himself.

Really, Ichigo wasn't much for acting like a middleschooler but this man seemed to bring out the worst in him. Ichigo looked up at him briefly before looking down and noticed the sweat tricking along his face and neck as they were both flushed red and his blue hair was slicked back.

"Oops," the mystery man said sheepishly and rubbed his hand behind his head before taking his long sleeved shirt from around his torso. "It's like thirty degrees out. It's a hot day."

Ichigo remained silent as he watched the man grab another sports drink, seeing the happy grin form on his face as the cold air blasted against his skin. Ichigo had to look away again, knowing if Aizen ever caught him staring at another man it would lead to another lesson. A lesson Ichigo wasn't too keen on repeating. That wouldn't be all, the man he had openly ogled would get a knuckle sandwich from Aizen as well.

"Is that everything?" Ichigo asked the man while looking down at the counter.

"Yup," said the man with a dazzling smile that Ichigo noticed when he looked up once. "It's a beautiful day."

 _Like I haven't heard that before._

Ichigo nodded his head in agreement. He didn't like speaking much and his voice grew hoarse from the lack of speech. Telling the man his total, Ichigo pressed the debit button and waited for the transaction to go through. Aside from the fan, it was silent in the store.

"Ichigo," said the man.

Hearing his name had Ichigo tense in fear, not knowing how this man knew his name until he realized that he had a nametag.

 _Breathe,_ Ichigo told himself.

"You and your hair are unique," the man complimented.

Ichigo remained silent, not knowing how to respond. Most people thought his eyes were strange or eerie. First the constable and now the stranger. Something had to be in the water if he was getting compliments from strangers. There was no other way to explain it when others thought his eyes were weird. He'd often been called a freak for the oddity and ostracized as a child.

"Don't look so glum," said the man. "Names Grimmjow. Let me tell you a joke. They cheer people up."

"…"

"Knock knock," Grimmjow began.

Silence.

"Okay, I'm just going to pretend you said 'who's there?'"

Silence again.

"Cash."

Once again Grimmjow got the same response.

"'Cash who' is what you're supposed to say," said Grimmjow.

Ichigo gave him a dull look.

"No thanks, I like peanuts," said Grimmjow.

Ichigo ran the joke through his head a few times before he understood the joke. A small smile formed on his face at the lame pun. Though the smile was small, it lit Grimmjow's face up like fireworks on New Year's Eve and revealed bright white teeth. A smile such as that had Ichigo's heart flutter and it looked like Grimmjow was the best person in the world.

"I like you," Grimmjow admitted. "No one likes my jokes."

"Puns are the lowest form of comedy," Ichigo commented dryly, his voice cracking a few times.

"Ouch!" Grimmjow said and put his hands to cover his heart. "Not only do we have a beauty, but this kitten had claws."

"Don't call me kitten," Ichigo whispered, not knowing if his voice was loud enough to be heard.

Grimmjow must have heard because he shrugged his shoulders and grabbed a pen that customers used to sign credit card receipts. Ichigo was unaware of what Stark was doing until he was handed a piece of paper.

"Call me or text," Grimmjow offered. "We should hang out sometime."

"I don't have a cellphone," Ichigo said.

"What?!" Grimmjow gasped in awe. "What young person isn't glued to a phone?"

"You aren't," Ichigo pointed out, "I'm also taken."

"Then let's be friends," Grimmjow said.

"I don't need anyone I just need Aizen," Ichigo said angrily, the lie surprising even himself.

"That doesn't mean we can't be friends," Grimmjow argued.

"If you don't leave I'll notify the manager about harassment," Ichigo threatened.

"I'll be back," Grimmjow promised. "I'll get you to be my friend, everyone needs one."

"It'd be safer if you didn't," Ichigo mumbled as Grimmjow left the store.

It had been four hours after Ichigo's meeting with Grimmjow and he still didn't know how to react to the man. He still wasn't deterred off of being friend even though Ichigo said he had no interest in being Grimmjow's friend. The number was in a locker at work that was provided by the worker so he didn't have to deal with a few of the other staff complaining about theft. He made them provide their own locks but it was better than nothing.

Now that Ichigo was heading home he was satisfied. He wore the cotton shirts provided by work but he had a long sleeved t-shirt underneath the sweater to hide his bruises and cuts. It was sweltering hot just like Grimmjow had said and it seemed it wouldn't cool down for another couple of hours.

The walk was only a few minutes but with the hot sun it had Ichigo sweating slightly as he made his way towards the house. Ichigo went through the front door that was unlocked only because Aizen had lost the keys. When he entered the house he was surprised to see that there were clothes littering the floor, ripped to shreds. Not all of them but a lot of clothes were shredded; Ichigo's clothes. The television was playing loudly and when Ichigo went to the living room he noticed Aizen on the couch, glaring at him.

"Hey Aizen," Ichigo greeted with a smile, hoping that his boyfriend didn't see through his façade.

"Hey babe, I've been waiting for you," Aizen greeted back creepily with a sinister look on his face.

Aizen began to stand up, strolling towards Ichigo causing him to freeze. Ichigo didn't know what would happen and his body was like a statue not wanting to move. With each step Ichigo could feel Aizen's rage and when they were finally in front of each other it took ever fibre in Ichigo's being to look up at his boyfriend.

"Thanks to you I have a criminal record," Aizen hissed in anger as he walked around Ichigo. "I can't leave the house past ten because I have a curfew and I ain't allowed to drink. If they suspect me of drinking I'm in bigger shit that need be. You want that? I may not be allowed to drink but that doesn't mean you can't. Cops won't be here till later on tonight. Get me some booze."

"I can't," Ichigo whispered. "I need to use it to pay the ambulance, food and a steam cleaner for the carpet."

"I don't care if yer using the money to see the Queen of England, you're getting me my fuckin' alcohol," Aizen demanded, grabbing Ichigo by the arms and slamming him into the wall. "Do I make myself clear?"

Ichigo nodded his head.

"Now hurry your ass up and get to the liquor store. Actually use that fuckin' car I pay for."

Nodding his head, Ichigo took the car keys and opened the glass door to head to the liquor store. His body was still trembling from being so close to Aizen. All the alcohol in the house had been drunken or wasted and in the carpet.

The only positive about driving the car was that it was faster and that Ichigo didn't have to worry about the content's weight of the liquor store bag. Ichigo wasn't told what kind of alcohol to buy so he grabbed a few cases of cheap beer, some hard lemonade and carbonated vodka with ice tea in it. They weren't high in the alcohol content but there was enough to last Aizen until tomorrow at most if Ichigo was lucky. He had a variety at least with beer or vodka; Aizen loved vodka.

However, when Ichigo returned Aizen was not pleased with the results. The fury on his face had Ichigo shaking as he tried to slowly make his way to the bedroom. Ichigo didn't make it too far before Aizen grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt.

"And where the fuck do you think you're going you useless cunt?" Aizen asked. "I asked you to do one thing. _One_ fucking thing and you still manage to screw up. I said alcohol not these pussy white girl drinks. Where the fuck is my real vodka and whiskey?"

"You never said what you wanted," Ichigo protested weakly.

"You should fuckin' know what to buy by now! Worthless bitch!" Aizen roared and managed to shove Ichigo.

The force of being pushed had Ichigo stumble backwards before slamming into the wall. He tried to sit up but Aizen was faster and sober, able to fight more coherently while Ichigo was small and weak. Aizen was sitting on top of Ichigo, his weight enough to keep Ichigo pinned as he slammed Ichigo's head against the wall again, a loud thud and a quiet cry were the only noises heard in the apartment.

"Yer nothing!" Aizen hissed as his fist slammed against Ichigo's cheek, hitting his nose.

The sound of a crunch and blood flow had Ichigo gasp in pain, understanding the feeling that followed. The hot blood ran down his nose and stained his clothing, a river flowing down. The coppery taste dropping over his lips and into his mouth, exploding its flavor on his tongue. Breathing was difficult for Ichigo as he was shaken and pushed against the wall by Aizen. Ichigo didn't know why Aizen was so agitated, so overreacting over a simple error when he could always go back to the liquor store. He got why there was a beating though; to teach him a lesson.

"Fuckin' fag!" Aizen jeered.

Ichigo didn't dare say anything in fear of what could bring more of Aizen's ire. Out of the eight years they had dated, Ichigo had learned when to keep his mouth shut. It had only been five years of beatings but he learned fast.

When Aizen stopped punching Ichigo, Ichigo didn't know what to expect until he felt harsh hands holding his throat, constricting to the point Ichigo couldn't breathe. His fingers clawed at Aizen's only to have the effort futile, making Aizen's grasp tighten. Fear ran through Ichigo's veins like ice water as he looked as his boyfriend with pleading brown eyes, silently begging that he be released.

 _Ascetic: Adjective. It is practicing self-denial,_ Ichigo thought to himself as he feared for his life, using the words in attempt to busy his mind and distract himself so that he didn't do anything stupid to warrant Aizen's rage.

"Listen here, fucktard," Aizen began, whispering in Ichigo's ear, "if you fuck up my wishes again I'm gonna make you regret it. I'll fuckin' tie ya up and lock ya in the closet for a week, only allowing you out ta piss and shit and maybe a meal if you're real good. So stop the fuckin' bleedin', ya stained my clothes and head back to the liquor store and buy me some whiskey and vodka!"

The volume had started out slow and only escalated the more Aizen spoke to Ichigo. At the end Ichigo nodded his head, feeling his consciousness starting to fade away. Once he was released, Ichigo was gasping for air as he held onto his throat; this was going to bruise. The only way to conceal the bruises was putting on cover up that was forced upon him by Aizen one day. Work wouldn't let him wear a scarf or turtleneck, especially in the summer time.

As Ichigo scrambled to the door, running to the bathroom to clean his face he felt salt water tears running down his face.

 _He could have killed me,_ Ichigo thought to himself, _I could have finally been killed and for what, alcohol? I'm such an idiot. I should have known better._

The cold water and face cloth did nothing to alleviate the pain that Ichigo felt, his nose was sensitive and was starting to swell from the impact of Aizen's fist against it. It didn't stop the tears from falling, hurting his nose as the liquid touched it. Ichigo wasn't a fool and had his nose broken two times prior to this one and could easily tell it was broken. Tilting his head back, Ichigo made his way to the kitchen. He was shaking the entire time but had to suffer as he put weight on his nose with a pack of frozen peas. It would bring down the swelling enough and stop the bleeding more effectively.

After a few minutes and Aizen shouting at Ichigo to head to the liquor store already he began to move to the door quickly, making sure he didn't forget his wallet and identification. Rushing out the door, Ichigo shakily opened the door and started the car, moving far away from Aizen only to buy the one thing that turned him in a monster.

 **Briar: I love the cashew joke. I see it on the internet and can't help but laugh at it. As you can see, Grimmjow will be using jokes a lot to have Ichigo like him. This story is gonna be dark; I fuckin' love it ^^.**


	5. Chapter 5

Aizen felt disgusted at himself as he heard the tap water running from Ichigo cleaning himself up. He wasn't a fool and could tell that Ichigo was crying in the bathroom, cleaning off the blood that Aizen had brought out from probably breaking Ichigo's nose again. That was the third time. Soon vicious red marks would form from the grip Aizen had on Ichigo's throat. He didn't mean to act the way he did but for some reason Aizen was an asshole to the man who jumped through hoops for him. There was nothing bad about Ichigo, and Aizen had to give him some credit for bringing some drinks that would subdue the shaking for now. He wouldn't let Ichigo know he was somewhat satisfied with the weak drinks in case he thought it was okay to buy them; Aizen needed alcohol.

Aizen knew it made him seem like an alcoholic but it was his coping mechanism to avoid the past. Everything was too real for him to deal with and alcohol calmed him down enough that he didn't have to fear the past. He was just like his farther as Aizen too had used alcohol to cope with the overwhelming situations of life.

Seeing Ichigo all but run out the door and left, giving Aizen the time to crack open a can of hard lemonade. Rapidly drinking the first can, it didn't take long before Aizen was finishing the second. It wasn't by the third drink that he felt the shakes stop. Detoxing didn't last as long as the officers had wanted. Aizen knew Ichigo just left again and if the cops were watching they'd ask what happened. At least he had been smart enough not to have a liquor store bag but rather a reusable grocery store cloth bag. At least he could lie and say that Ichigo forgot to buy some groceries and was heading back because they needed the groceries for dinner.

"I'm such an asshole sometimes," Aizen whispered to himself as he remembered the fear Ichigo had as he walked from the bathroom to the kitchen to put ice on his nose.

With the layout of their apartment there was nothing blocking Ichigo from Aizen if Aizen were to attack him. The oven was behind a small countertop but the fridge was in the open area. The house had still been a mess and got worse at all the torn clothing Aizen had ripped up in a furious rage that there was not a single ounce of alcohol in the house. Tearing Ichigo's clothes was also an impulsive decision Aizen had made to punish Ichigo.

As Aizen laid on the couch, something they had gotten for free, he was plagued by pings of memories from the past. He remembered the boy with the fox like features: Gin. The boy had been Aizen's next door neighbor and had his only means of escape from an abusive alcoholic father. Gin was a year older than Aizen but he still had that big kid cool aura that kids were drawn to. Aizen was nine when Gin moved to be their neighbor, his dad was renting the house and had just moved from the Hueco Mundo area into the Serietie. They lived by the cemetery and though it was creepy to Aizen he was happy to finally have a friend; the old neighbor were an elderly couple who hated children.

Aizen was an only child, so when Gin moved next door he was happy to see someone around his own age to play with since most of his friends lived in Wildwood but didn't like the elementary school, going to the one in Las Noches instead. Aizen hadn't been bothered at the time because he wasn't alone at school but when it came to hanging out they seldom did unless it was a weekend due to the bus schedule. Once every hour the bus came and though the fare was only a dollar at time they only took the bus to get to school and home, not for leisurely visits to friend's houses.

With Gin, if Aizen noticed his dad was angry and in a fit he wold run next door and play with Gin until evening, knowing his father usually diffused by then. It wasn't often that Aizen had broken bones but his body was littered with bruises underneath his clothing. Going to Gin's had help sometimes and Gin knew enough about Aizen's dad that he was alright with not going over to Aizen's house. He didn't judge but there were times they had talked about running away, living in California and becoming famous movie stars. It had been a dream then and was no longer a dream now.

The friendship had between Gin and Aizen great at first, but as Aizen aged he noticed how pretty Gin was. His soft pale skin, ashen hair, flat face and bright blue eyes that were the color of piercing ice. The combination made him no less stunning and his small nose was rather cute. When Aizen saw Gin he couldn't help but have his heart flutter in his chest as seeing his friend and wondering if he felt the same. Aizen didn't understand this feeling because no one else brought this emotion out of him. It wasn't too long after that Aizen learned his was love. He loved Gin and he was Aizen's escape; his safety.

Aizen's father had called him a fag for hanging around Gin so much, saying that Aizen needed to just get a girlfriend. He was twelve and his father still beat him but was smart enough to know where to hit and the limitations of his strikes. Aizen didn't get why Gin liked him when he was gangly and gaunt. His body didn't scream abuse but there were times his father abused him physically or by neglect. The man spent a good portion of his earned money on alcohol. During the day he was a functioning alcoholic and once he got home he became the monster, unleashing a demon with every drink he had.

 _I wish Mom was still alive,_ Aizen had though many times.

If his mom hadn't died then his father wouldn't have become the alcoholic he was. He was drowning his sorrows because he couldn't cope with the death of his wife. She died of cancer and rather than focus on getting better, his father snuffed out the emotions with alcohol. In the end it did nothing but harm Aizen. At least he had Gin.

As Aizen saw Gin's face, smiling happily at seeing Aizen after he came back from vacation it only caused Aizen to down another hard lemonade.

 _Penn, I'll be back soon, promise. I'll bring you back a souvenir. No matter how long I'm gone we'll be together forever._

Aizen bit down on his lip hard at hearing Gin's promise. In the back of the closet, in a little shoe box Aizen still kept the letters and trinkets Gin had given him. There was a keychain, a sea shell, some sand from the beaches of California when Gin's dad took him on a trip and the Malaysian coin Gin's father had given Gin when he had been on a trip back before Gin was born. Gin had never asked for the objects back when their friendship/relationship ended and at the time Aizen was relieved. Now the items was just a skeleton in his closet.

"I guess forever was shorter than we thought," Aizen muttered bitterly to himself.

If it wasn't for his father, Flynn, would Aizen be with Ichigo or Gin? If his father hadn't beaten Gin when Aizen was fourteen and Gin fifteen for making out, would Gin still speak to him? Gin had moved forward in his life, leaving Aizen behind by now. After he was beaten, Gin lying to his father saying it was Aizen, they never spoke again and Gin moved away. They still went to school together for the remaining year but once September rolled around Gin avoided Aizen like the plague, not wanting to get beaten by Flynn again. Aizen didn't blame Gin because Aizen had received the same beating and then some.

 _Three years_ , Aizen thought to himself.

He had been with Gin for three years, a feat in itself that Flynn hadn't found out sooner. It had been Aizen's dirty little secret and that had made the relationship all the more exciting. When Flynn found out the beatings became far more intense and his father ragged on him for being a fag. There were numerous names he had been called though: stick slurper, fag, queer, fairy, fudge packer, cock jockey, fruit or twink. There were far more names but it hurt Aizen and invaded his thoughts constantly, even more vicious when Aizen thought of Gin.

Liar. That was what ran through Aizen's mind at the thought of how fast being caught and its repercussions escalated. There was no saving Aizen from his father's constant vexation but he had found ways. There was always a way to fix a problem, but there was no repairing his friendship with Gin.

Gin distanced himself so suddenly and so easily that Aizen started dipping into his father's liquor stash. It wasn't difficult, the man proud and sometimes saying that Aizen was becoming a man by drinking liquor. At first it had burned, the strong taste of whiskey on his tongue made Aizen wonder why someone would enjoy something so distasteful. However, the more he drank casually with his father the more accustomed he became to the liquor. Some days they drank the alcohol straight out of the bottle and other days the mixed it with pop.

For a while it helped Aizen handle life, and his friends started to leave not liking Aizen's attitude. In the end Aizen found new friends. Ones who liked underage drinking and smoking pot. Money wasn't hard to get because Flynn didn't count his money well enough to care so if ten bucks went missing every so often he thought nothing of it. When Aizen wanted alcohol it wasn't hard for him to get his hands on booze. When Aizen wasn't drinking with his father he was out getting hammered at some party or spending the weekend on Rukongai getting blitzed or drunk out of his mind. There was a period in Aizen's life where he partied hard core and life had become a blur.

It wasn't until he met Ichigo at eighteen that Aizen finally left his father's house by getting a job and living on his own. It wasn't like he attended much school anyway but once he noticed Ichigo, the shy little bookworm that was in his math class, that Aizen paid him any mind. He had heard the name during roll call but it wasn't until the teacher changed seats and placed them side by side that he noticed the small male who was barely over five feet tall. He was cute and had Aizen's heart pounding in his chest, fluttering each time Ichigo looked at him and smiled.

Ichigo always seemed happy to see Aizen and the teacher didn't move them anymore because Aizen actually tried in class now, trying to impress the boy beside him. The teacher had been impressed that Aizen's grades slightly improved and because of Ichigo Aizen went to school every day just to see his face. If Aizen wasn't around, and texted that he was't going to school than Aizen would stay at home and drink or go and get high with friends. After a while Aizen even stopped drinking for Ichigo, not wanting his crush to think lowly of him for underage drinking. Aizen didn't want to lose the only affection he had received since Gin.

Aizen had started to work out, not that he was fat. No, he wanted to be more muscular and as a teenage boy he had a fast metabolism allowing him to eat what he wished and not gain any weight. It hadn't taken long before Aizen saw result. After a few months Ichigo had even complimented him on his change in appearance, even saying he liked the new hairstyle. Aizen had combed his hair back and it reminded him of a punkish style or even one of a villain in a comic book. It made Aizen's heart soar when Ichigo said he liked the new look.

 _I like you, I like you a lot, Aizen,_ Ichigo's voice running through Aizen's mind at hearing Ichigo's confession just before they went into the exam.

Aizen couldn't help a small smile form on his face at remembering Ichigo fidgeting with his shirt, confessing to Aizen near the exit doors across from the gymnasium. The place was crowded with students wanting to enter to take the exam but the doors were not as bad. Aizen still remembered how Ichigo was blushing red, not sure how Aizen would react to his confession. The answer Aizen had given Ichigo was a chaste kiss on the lips. When Aizen pulled back he had a smile on his face at the light blush on Ichigo's face as such a bold action.

 _I like you too._

The relationship had been kind and after a year, when Ichigo was sixteen, during winter break Ichigo was convinced to live with Aizen. Aizen had been so happy that Ichigo finally agreed and stopped rejecting the idea of living together. It had taken some time but now they would be like other couples who started their lives together.

"I miss our high school days," Aizen whispered to the wall, wishing Ichigo could hear. "Life was so much easier back then. Back then you actually loved me. Back then I never had to wonder if you'd continue to stay or not. You would have never left me back then but I'll make sure you never leave me now. I'll drag you by your hair and beat you so you never leave me again."

Another swig of the lemonade and it was finished, Aizen feeling slightly buzzed. He was more relaxed and he could feel his concentration lessening. That was a pleasant feeling and Aizen knew soon enough that he would forget the memories that brought too many emotions: Flynn, Gin and a young Ichigo. Ichigo had been the reason Aizen stopped drinking but once they lived together the stress of income made him start once more. They lived a good life but Ichigo didn't make enough at the convenience store being a part time student while Aizen was a dishwasher at a local restaurant.

Aizen cracked open his first beer, his lip curling back in distaste at the cheap brand that Ichigo had bought. There would never be enough alcohol to sate him and allow him to drown because once an inkling of memories of the past reared its ugly head it caused Aizen to drink. If his life was different, would he be where he is today? Would he have become a successful lawyer like Gin had planned or would he still be in the slums? Would his father be the asshole he was today? Who would he have ended up with? Gin or Ichigo? It was questions like these that caused Aizen to quickly finish one drink after another in rapid succession.

 _Mom, why did you have to leave?_ Aizen thought to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

"Good boy," Aizen purred while pressed up against Ichigo. "For buying me more alcohol than I expected you get a reward."

Hearing that had dread fill Ichigo's body to the brim. It was like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped over him. There was no way for Ichigo to escape either, having his back pressed against the wall. He was at Aizen's mercy. The thought of his "reward" had Ichigo sweating in fear. The cool liquid bothering him deeply as he tried to calm himself down.

"Hmm…" Aizen mused. "You know what, I'll let you go to the hospital. Just say you broke your nose on a game of Frisbee."

"Okay," Ichigo whispered, afraid what his normal volume would sound like. "Thank you."

"Take the car too and fill it with gas while you're at it," Aizen ordered. "I want you to deal with it as fast as possible rather than walking for over a half an hour there and back."

Ichigo nodded his head and stood on his tip toes to give Aizen a kiss on the lips. It wasn't often that either were overly generous in giving affection but now was a time for kindness. The kiss itself surprised both of them and Ichigo was cautious since his nose still ached painfully. When Ichigo pulled away he noticed the small happy smile on Aizen's face.

"Be safe, okay," Aizen advised. "I'd come with you but I should clean up."

 _Clean up? He rarely does that. Aizen's either seriously trying to brown nose me or truly sorry,_ Ichigo thought to himself.

"Alright," Ichigo replied. "I'll call you when they are done fixing my nose so it can properly heal. I probably look like shit."

"You're still beautiful to me." Aizen said.

"I'll see you soon," Ichigo told Aizen before leaving.

For once Ichigo didn't feel like he'd leave the house in terror or as a means of escape. He noticed he still wore his uniform and once in the car he carefully removed the t-shit, careful not to touch his nose. The hospital was only a few minutes away, with only three sets of lights. There weren't many street lights in the town and it made driving somewhat efficient with the lack of stopping on the main street.

Even though having a broken nose hurt, Ichigo would use the time away from Aizen to eat the first meal he had since his first break when he ate a small bag of chips. There wasn't much at the gas station that was across from the liquor store but it allowed him to get a smoothie drink. It wasn't much but it would be easy to swallow. It wasn't much but it would work for now. The chances of Ichigo not retrieving the smoothie had been slim but it seemed luck was on his side and he didn't have to waste the three dollars it cost to buy the smoothie.

Ichigo was hesitant to drink the liquid as he sat in the hospital building, not knowing whether he should eat or not. It was often that he contemplated to eat or to push the food away. After the few years of not eating much his stomach didn't rave for food. It affected his body, having it thin and a lack of energy but he managed to get through the day without vomiting unlike the beginning where he would vomit in gym class from runs when it was before lunch and he couldn't eat at the cafeteria. However, that was then and this was now and Ichigo forced himself to finish off the drink. It would help him in the long run even if he didn't want to eat.

Leaving the car seemed was also what Ichigo wasn't sure whether or not to do. Ther was a part of him that didn't want to leave and get better, it was hard but that was life; no one got the easy way out. The motivation to do it lead to him taking a deep breath and opening the door. He had no idea how long he had been in the car but it had to have been at least ten minutes, his body sweating from the hot air inside the car. There was no faint breeze today allowing him to cool down. At least the hospital wouldn't be sweltering hot; another motivation to leave.

When he entered the hospital the receptionist began to ask questions like his address, health care number and what was wrong. It didn't take long for Ichigo before the woman told him to take a seat. The doctor would be with him shortly and he would be taken in order of priority. That meant it could possibly take six hours before Ichigo saw the doctor. At least there were magazines to keep him busy unlike the little rich kids who got to play on their phones if they weren't too sick.

The sound of a door opening had Ichigo look up and who he saw surprised him: Grimmjow. Was this guy stalking him or something? When their eyes met Grimmjow's face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning seeing all the gifts under the tree.

"Ichigo!" Grimmjow shouted excitedly only to get glared at by the nurse and told to quiet down that this was a hospital not a concert. "How ya been buddy?"

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders.

"Why ya here?" Grimmjow wondered.

"Broke my nose playing Frisbee," Ichigo answered softly as he looked at his hands.

"Awe, ain't that the worst?" Grimmjow rhetorically asked. "I did that back in middle school. You were in my class now that I think about it."

Ichigo didn't say anything, not knowing he even knew Grimmjow or how Grimmjow even remembered him.

"I got another joke for you," Grimmjow said. "What do you call a cow with no legs?"

"…"

"Ground beef," Grimmjow said before laughing.

Ichigo couldn't help but smile a little at that and chuckle. "That's bad but funny."

"He speaks!" Grimmjow gasped dramatically. "Okay, if you like that one I have another for you. What do you call a cow with two legs?"

"What?" Ichigo asked in humor.

"Lean beef," Grimmjow answered with a snicker.

"What if it's a front and back leg?" Ichigo asked.

"Way to ruin the joke," Grimmjow pouted.

"Or create a whole new joke," Ichigo retorted.

"You got potential for being a comedian," Grimmjow said.

"Don't quit your day job," Ichigo replied.

Ichigo couldn't help the quip of his lips in a small smiles at the response he gave Grimmjow. The man looked at Ichigo before laughing as well. Even though Ichigo wasn't the best at comedy there were times like these he could be remotely funny.

There was a part of Ichigo that thought he should feel guilty for enjoying himself, not feeling bad. Though his nose hurt a lot, it didn't stop him from talking to Grimmjow. It had been a long time since Ichigo really talked to anyone that wasn't Aizen. What would it be like if he were to actually have friends again? He hadn't had friends a little while after he started dating Aizen. Some of them didn't his relationship and others Ichigo would push away because Aizen didn't like them and he had chosen love over friendship. Now that Ichigo had no one to talk to he both feared and missed companionship.

"What are you doing here?" Ichigo asked as he stared at his lap, using one arm to hold onto the other.

"My little brother ended up breaking his arm falling off the monkey bars," Grimmjow answered. "You got some real strong bruises around your nose. What happened if you don't mind me asking?"

"Frisbee to the face, remember?" Ichigo replied.

"Ah," Grimmjow said. "You weren't the most coordinated person in gym."

"As I recall you said you broke your nose in gym class too," Ichigo pointed out.

"Good point," Grimmjow agreed.

Ichigo looked slightly at Grimmjow before shrugging his shoulders, knowing that that was true. There were times he'd been dealt some serious damage in sports even though he was athletic. They had only been in gym class together in middle school and then once in grade eleven before Grimmjow sort of disappeared. Ichigo had tried to go to the outreach program but he had been too academically smart to head there unless he'd work a full time job.

"Want to hear another joke?" Grimmjow asked.

Ichigo shrugged his shoulder and nodded anyway.

"What kind of bagel can fly?"

"…"

"You really need to speak more," Grimmjow said. "How am I gonna tell jokes if it's only one-sided?"

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders.

"Okay, well, I'll finish the joke," Grimmjow said. "It's a plain bagel."

Ichigo rolled his eyes at the pun but it didn't lessen the smile on his face. It was a good joke and if Grimmjow wasn't so interesting Ichigo would have walked away by now. The man wasn't overly pushy and he had a sense of humor. The type that Ichigo enjoyed to hear after not laughing much lately.

"I got more jokes where that came from," Grimmjow said.

"I wouldn't doubt that," said Ichigo.

"It's a good way to pass the time," Grimmjow said. "With the kid who looks like he's about to blow chunks all over his mom's shoes and then some, the woman knitting a blanket in a hospital and not a retirement home and the homeless looking guy sleeping on the couch, we have some time to kill. Hell, an ambulance might show up sometimes. It looks busy now but I can bet you an arm and a leg it'll get real busy soon."

"Great," Ichigo said sarcastically, "just what I need. I have to work before six tomorrow. Looks like I'll be living off energy drinks tonight."

There wasn't much funds left in Ichigo's account now that he had paid the bills and had to buy Aizen his alcohol. There was maybe enough money to buy food but because Ichigo wasn't in poverty he wasn't eligible for food banks. It was unfortunate and sometimes Ichigo wondered if there was anything better out there for him aside from a minimum wage job that he had finally got paid at least fourteen dollars an hour. He had years of experience handling cash now, but if he were to go elsewhere he'd have to start at minimum wage. There was also the fact that not many people in Karakura Town hired fulltime, you started at part time and if you were lucky got fulltime hours.

"There you are looking glum again," Grimmjow chastised playfully. "Are my jokes not good enough? I have a bountiful of more. Wanna hear them?"

Ichigo still looked down at his hands, wondering why Grimmjow didn't just leave him alone. Sure, they went to high school together but that didn't mean they were buddies. Yet, as much as Ichigo wanted Grimmjow to leave Ichigo also wanted him to stay.

"Why was six afraid of seven?" Grimmjow asked.

"Really?" Ichigo asked before shaking his head. "Why?"

"Because seven _ate_ nine," Grimmjow said.

Ichigo smiled. "Those cannibalistic bastards."

Grimmjow couldn't help it, he barked out a laugh. He really wasn't expecting that to come out of Ichigo's mouth and either had Ichigo. Ichigo barely spoke to Grimmjow as it was and the trip to the hospital had to be the most they had ever said to one another.

"Okay, well, here's another one," Grimmjow began, "how can the number seven become even?"

"How?" Ichigo asked.

"You take away the s," Grimmjow said.

Another corny joke, like usual. They were simple answers yet the surprised Ichigo how he hadn't heard them, aside from the seven eating nine joke. That was a classic everyone had heard as children.

"I have one for you, Mr. Mathematician," Ichigo said. "How come the quarter didn't roll down the mountain with the nickel and dime?"

"Oooo I know this one but I forget. How come?" Grimmjow asked.

"It had more cents," Ichigo replied.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," a nurse shouted.

"That's me," Ichigo told her as he got up. "Well, I guess I'll see you once I get back from my evaluation. Unless you're gone by then"

Grimmjow nodded his head. "Still got my number?"

"No cell phone, genius," Ichigo replied as he walked towards the nurse and down the hall.

Ichigo had been through the procedure enough that he knew they would take his vitals, ask questions and send him back in the waiting room before taking him in finally. They might do some x-rays before, seeing whether or not his nose was truly broken and if he'd need it broken back in place. That had happened the other times Ichigo had his nose broken and had been sensitive to food. The first few days would be difficult but Ichigo would survive.

The quick check up to see his vitals didn't take too long. Ichigo was asked again how his injury occurred and how he felt. He tried his best not to look at the nurse in attempts to avoid her seeing through him. She told him to wait for the doctor and he would inspect the injury before getting x-rays done to make sure whether or not he would need it broken back into place. Ichigo hoped that wasn't the case because even though he was under anaesthetics hearing the bone crunch unnerved him.

Ichigo didn't know how long he sat on the chair before the doctor arrived. She was nothing spectacular and even though Ichigo wasn't sexually attracted to women it didn't mean he didn't know when there was one who was attractive.

"So, Ichigo, how are we today?" the doctor asked.

"Sore, tired," Ichigo replied. "This is my third broken nose and I'd honestly like to know if you have to put it back into place or not."

"How about we answer some questions first," the doctor offered. "My name is Dr. Isane. You want to tell me about your injury."

Ichigo sighed, not understanding why they wanted him to keep on repeating himself. "I broke it playing Frisbee with my boyfriend Aizen."

"Where is he now?" Kanno asked. "With such an injury he should be with you."

"Cleaning the house for when I come home," Ichigo answered. "Can we do the x-rays now?"

"Not yet," Dr. Isane replied. "Let me inspect the injury before we make any final decisions. Your nose is definitely swollen and the bruises on your face indicate something could be broken. Your nose isn't crooked looking. There might not be a break."

When Dr. Isane touched Ichigo's nose he hissed in pain, not enjoying the feeling. The pain had tears form in his eyes as an initial reaction. Ichigo blinked away the tears rapidly because he didn't want to cry; he'd done enough last night.

Thankfully after Dr. Isane finished her probing she agreed to get Ichigo an x-ray. He followed her with ease and once he reached the room he was required to strip down and into the hospital robe. The room was dark and the chances of him seeing his scars and cuts weren't too high. If asked he could put it off as a scratch from the neighborhood cat. They were roaming the streets and it'd be easy to pick one up only to be scratched.

 _I'm a fool covering for Aizen but I don't know if I could handle being alone,_ Ichigo thought to himself.

Ichigo didn't want to go into the funny farm, not liking the idea of spending a possibly days or weeks in a confined area. It'd only make him crazier surrounded by people far more mentally deranged than himself. Ichigo wasn't suicidal, he just enjoyed the feeling the pain provided.

"Lay down on the table slab," Dr. Isane ordered. "I'll place this protective cover over you once you're comfortable."

Doing as ordered, Ichigo patiently waited as the procedure was finished. It wasn't long before he was ordered to put his clothes back on. He had to remain still as they took pictures of his nose, but the majority of it he zoned out his surroundings, not enjoying the process. Ichigo just wanted to go home but he'd need to get a prescription if he was even prescribed one. If he was lucky the drug store would be open until Ichigo was finished at the hospital.

"Okay, I'll have you wait in the same room you had before we took x-rays while I examine the pictures," Dr. Isane said

Ichigo nodded his head and began to disrobe and place back the clothes that he come to the hospital in. The room was still dark which allowed him to hide his bruises and cuts, the only way she could see them was if watched him intently. There had to be some around his throat, there was no way to explain that aside from possibly saying he was assaulted.

When Ichigo left the room he felt a little more at ease being by himself. He had no idea how long it would take this time to come to a conclusion about his nose. Sometimes he'd waited for a few hours, a doctor coming on and off for different problems he'd had.

"Too bad I don't have anything to keep me preoccupied," Ichigo thought out loud to himself.

Most people had a cellphone to play games on but Ichigo didn't have the luxury for an item such as that. Cellphones had more bills and cost more money. Aizen could also break it and if that happened it would be money wasted. Ichigo wasn't frugal but he knew when it was fruitless to buy items that were somewhat expensive and could easily be smashed in Aizen's rage.

Ichigo wasn't a fool and while he waited he only had his mind to keep himself preoccupied. The magazines were in the waiting room but at least the nurse was kind enough to put the curtain around the area giving him privacy. Individuals in passing who came to the hospital had watched him, looking at the dark bruises on his face. Ichigo felt overwhelmed with the looks people gave him, not liking the attention on him.

Ichigo moved to the little bed rather than the chair since it was far more comfortable. He hadn't known how tired he'd been lately but if he could sleep that would be nice. However, just as he laid down he heard the curtain open. Thinking it was Dr. Isane again, Ichigo was surprised to see Constable Kisuke Uruahara.


	7. Chapter 7

_Shit!_ Ichigo thought to himself as he saw Kisuke Uruhara standing where the doctor should have been. _Did that woman contact the police station about abuse? If Aizen finds out I'm a dead man. Calm down. If you act normal he won't suspect a thing._

Part of Ichigo wanted to reveal to Constable Uruhara everything that had occurred the past five years but to do that would mean to put himself and his family in danger. They were safe, yes, but Aizen knew how much Karin meant to him and who was to say Aizen wouldn't go after her if he found out about the visit between himself and the constable. Ichigo knew the cruelty that Aizen was capable and he knew Ichigo's weak spot to his baby sister.

"You don't look to well," Kisuke noticed. "What happened?"

"Broke my nose playing Frisbee," Ichigo answered after a few minutes.

"Had to think about that?" Kisuke asked with suspicion in his eyes.

"Had to think if you deserved to know or not," Ichigo retorted coldly. "Whatever you suspect about Aizen, you're wrong."

"Who said anything about Aizen?" Kisuke asked. "He finally lose his cool? I see those bruises around your throat. Lover's quarrel gone to the extreme?"

"Tch, ever think I'm into that kinky shit with asphyxiation? I ain't stupid and I'm not talking to you anymore," Ichigo said. "Making such accusations isn't wise nor fair to Aizen."

"You'd deny yourself medical treatment for Aizen's sake?" Kisuke asked.

"I'd _die_ for him." Ichigo lied.

Ichigo didn't bother to listen to what Kisuke had to say after that, not enjoying the fact that the constable had the audacity to come into the hospital and make claims that he wasn't aware of. Yes, there was abuse but Kisuke was missing the bigger picture here; there was nothing he could do to stop it. This wasn't a fairy tale. Ichigo would not get his happy ending. There was no prince in shining armor coming to sweep him off his feet or to save him from the beast that was known as Aizen. If Aizen were the true monster that Kisuke thought he was Ichigo wouldn't be in the hospital; he'd be dead.

Ichigo didn't care if he didn't have the results of the test and if his nose were to not heal properly then so be it. It had happened before and it would happen again. He wasn't a doctor but Dr. Isane had said that his nose looked in place. The chances of Aizen shattering bone wasn't likely unless he had used a weapon.

Kisuke's voice was heard, echoing through the hall as Ichigo left. There was no point for Ichigo to stay and there was no chance that he would return to the hospital for a break that was easily ignored. His nose didn't determine how he worked unlike his hands and feet.

Ichigo hadn't even bothered to go through the doors he had entered, knowing that the emergency entrance doors were quicker. He moved quickly, ignoring those who asked what was going on and Dr. Isane who insisted that Ichigo come back. Their words meant nothing and Ichigo moved forward, through the doors, the parking lot and to the car. Ichigo didn't een make it to the care when he felt the tears roll down his face, soaking into his skin and staining his face. Slamming his fist against his fist, Ichigo couldn't help but shout in frustration.

"Damn it!" Ichigo gritted through his teeth.

 _I'm so weak,_ Ichigo thought to himself. _Here I was presented at a chance at freedom but I refuse to jump and take it. There was protective custody. Why? Why did I let myself get in too deep?_

Questions that had no answers. Ichigo knew if he could reverse time he'd have changed things. He wouldn't have let Aizen pursued him or even let the ignition to the relationship start. If Ichigo could reverse time he wouldn't be in this situation. There was an infinite amount of possibilities Ichigo could have had had he not been with Aizen. All the high marks he had received in class would have allowed him to gain scholarships, attend university; become anything he wanted to be.

"Fuck!" Ichigo cursed, rarely uttering a swear word. "You ruined me Aizen! Ruined me!"

There was nothing in this world that held Ichigo back more than Aizen. Even with a student loan, Ichigo knew he couldn't juggle being a student and working if he were to be something such a doctor or even a lawyer. He didn't even know what he wanted to be in the first place. What could he be?

Tears of frustration clung to the corner of Ichigo's eyes and he began to rub his eyes. He was a man not some child! He didn't have to cry over something so stupid. Honestly, people were poor all the time. That was life. No one would get the easy way out because no one got to have a fairy tale ending.

Ichigo ignored the calls he heard not only from Kisuke and Dr. Isane, but from Grimmjow as well. He could hear the footsteps from Grimmjow which only caused Ichigo to pick up his own speed. Exercise wasn't wise for Ichigo with his broken nose but he didn't care. Why would he when he wanted an escape. The area was dark now, only because it was night time. The stars twinkled in the navy blue sky and the moon shined brightly.

The feeling of hands around Ichigo's arms had him jump before his knees buckled, having him land on his knees. The touch sent fear into Ichigo, not knowing who touched him and why. It made his breathing uneven as fear coursed through his veins.

"Ichigo," a male voice said.

 _I know that voice,_ Ichigo thought to himself.

Yes, who was it? Ichigo didn't know until he saw Grimmjow crouching in front of him with a look of…Concern? Why was Grimmjow concerned? No one cared about Ichigo so why did Grimmjow care.

"Are you okay?" Grimmjow asked softly.

"Why don't you just leave me along?" Ichigo asked, his temper flaring but mostly because of how Ichigo reacted to being held.

"There's that fire," Grimmjow whispered in awe.

Ichigo pushed Grimmjow away from him, knowing he wouldn't expect such an action. Ichigo was correct and it allowed him the time to stand up on weak legs as he ran towards his car. If it came down to stamina and speed Grimmjow would win. Ichigo just hoped Grimmjow would listen to him and leave. Why would Grimmjow care what happened to him anyway?

Ichigo was almost at the car, almost there. Once inside the car he felt all the tension evaporate. There was no fear, just adrenaline as he sat by himself. His nose ached painfully and the burning sensation in his chest bothered Ichigo but he was in the car and safe. All the doors were locked but his, which he locked in case Grimmjow tried to open it.

Turning on the ignition, Ichigo began to drive away. Grimmjow was still on his ass in the same place Ichigo had left him. Shock and awe was written on Grimmjow's face. Rather than look at Grimmjow, Ichigo looked away, looking into the rear-view mirror with an apologetic look on his face that he knew Grimmjow would never see.

It wasn't long before Ichigo returned home, not knowing what to expect. He had sat in the car for a few minutes before his nerves allowed him to leave and face Aizen. What would it be like? Would the house be a mess? Would there be liquor bottles littering the floor? Would Aizen be home? Would Aizen be drunk? All these questions with no answers. Ichigo didn't know what to expect when he entered his home. Once he did the fragrance that greeted him shocked him as well as the sight. The place was spotless, except the stains on the carpet, not a single piece of clutter. Next was the aroma that filled the house; Aizen cooked.

"Hey Ichi, you're back. I'm glad," Aizen said. "Good thing I made extra."

"Smells good," Ichigo said. "What is it?"

"I have crab rigatoni along with a side order of cook oysters with burnt butter," Aizen answered. "Come, sit."

Their dining room was small, only a small little corner near the glass door entrance. The curtains were drawn and there was a candle with a sheet on the table. It was probably a bed sheet but it was still romantic. The candles hadn't been lighten yet, but Ichigo watched as Aizen did so. Walking towards the table, Aizen pulled out the chair and Ichigo sat. Aizen pushed the chair in and gave Ichigo a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"How are you feeling?" Aizen asked.

"Good," Ichigo lied.

"Sorry I couldn't be there for you," Aizen said. "I know it's pretty late, close to midnight and all but I thought we could enjoy a late dinner."

"That's so sweet of you," Ichigo said. "I thought you were broke though. Where did the money come from?"

Just as soon as Ichigo asked the question he regretted it. Aizen would surely beat him for asking such a question. As far as Ichigo knew Aizen was broke unless he had stolen some money or was using all of Ichigo's money in order to save his own. Ichigo didn't know what to believe but to see Aizen sit across from him had Ichigo wary.

"I had some money around that I was saving for this dinner," Aizen replied. "Don't look so worried. Eat up. We're here to celebrate. I'm gonna clean up my act, just for you. I'll be sober and look for a job rather than relying on the government. I even looked up AA meetings"

"Really?" Ichigo asked. "I'm proud of you."

This was a major step for Aizen. In all the years they had been together, the ones that Ichigo realized Aizen had a drinking problems this was the first time he admitted it. He was aiming to recover by going to meetings. This was a new Aizen and maybe, just maybe it would be the same one that Ichigo fell in love with back in high school.

"Does that mean we'll go half on bills?" Ichigo asked.

"Sure," Aizen said. "In fact, my first pay day I'll pay half of rent and we can go out on a date. My treat."

A big grin formed on Ichigo's face at hearing that. Aizen was changing. Changing so much and for the better. All for him. Finally Aizen realized he had a problem and wanted to fix it for their relationship. It made Ichigo feel like the top of the world.

Aizen had even gone to great lengths to make something easy for Ichigo to eat. Aizen really was becoming a better man. Was he still drunk, Ichigo didn't know. He didn't smell an ounce of alcohol in the house but that was probably because the cleaning solution overrode his senses.

"To new beginnings," Aizen said with a raise of his water.

"To new beginnings," Ichigo agreed.

However, all good things came to an end. The happy beginnings were great at first but then things would change. Pessimism at its finest. It had been a week already since Aizen made his promise to stay sober. He even got a job right away at a grocery store. Ichigo wasn't aware of that until after a long twelve hour day at work. He had stayed later because there was a no show. The boss had agreed to it. Because of that extra four hours Ichigo saw Grimmjow again. The man happy to see Ichigo was faring better. The bruises had faded and Ichigo didn't look as bad.

Ichigo remembered seeing Grimmjow and a part of him had his heart flutter at seeing him before remembering their last meeting. A scowl had formed on his face but it didn't deter Grimmjow. Again he seemed to be running and he bought sports drinks. The only difference this time than it was the first was that Grimmjow had headphones in this time. Music was blaring and he seemed to pay no attention to Ichigo at all.

It had hurt Ichigo at the time but in the end he got what he wanted. He asked for Grimmjow to leave him alone. Ichigo told the total of the order but got no response. Handing Grimmjow the receipt, he waited for Grimmjow to leave but he stayed still, looking at the debit machine.

"What did the ocean say to the shore?" Grimmjow muttered, so quietly that Ichigo almost didn't hear him.

"What?" Ichigo asked.

"I'll sea you later," Grimmjow replied and left the store without another word.

That joke hadn't left Ichigo's brain at all as he worked. Thankfully Grimmjow had told him the joke near the end of his shift so it wasn't that long before Ichigo remembered he'd be home to see Grimmjow. Tonight was the night that they were going to go out on a date. Aizen wouldn't be paid for a week but that was okay because he received some money today.

Today dragged on and on all because Ichigo was excited for his date with Aizen. It wasn't often they went out to dinner nor even go out on a date. Aizen even went all out and said that it would be a surprise. Back when they were in high school Aizen had made each surprise unique in their own way so that no surprise was ever the same.

However, the excitement left Ichigo's body when he entered the house. The scent of alcohol hit his scenes like a freight train. It wasn't just that but Ichigo noticed Aizen passed out on couch. Sadness overwhelmed Ichigo as tears clung to the corners of his eyes. Aizen had promised he would change, that they would have a date. That was the worst. Aizen always seemed to disappoint Ichigo when he was the most excited. Life was truly cruel.

Such a sight broke Ichigo. The salt water tears continued to fall down his eyes and wouldn't stop. It hurt. It hurt so bad. Why did Aizen have to continue to drink?

 _Am I not good enough?_

It hurt Ichigo to see that there was nothing he could do to help Aizen. Why didn't things ever work out the Ichigo wanted to? Why was Ichigo such a failure?

"I can't do anything right," Ichigo berated himself with a hushed tone.

With a sigh of acceptance, Ichigo quietly went into the kitchen to grab garbage bags to clean up the mess Aizen had made with the alcohol. There were bottles and cans of beer, some coolers that Ichigo thought Aizen had thrown out and a bottle of vodka. Empty. The sight made Ichigo's chest clench but he managed to clean up the mess, heading to the dumpster to hide the evidence. Out of sight out of mind.

"People see what they want to. I saw nothing," Ichigo told himself as he shut the dumpster lid.


	8. Chapter 8

Aizen didn't know whether or not he felt guilty when he woke up after passing out drunk. He was sure he drank even if there was no evidence of it. It was obvious that it was morning but Ichigo wasn't anywhere in sight. Last night Aizen had felt anxious about going out on a date with Ichigo and after hearing that he was staying later at work it only caused him to drink once Ichigo left home from his lunch break.

It was only going to be one beer at first but one beer turned into six, a pack of coolers and a two-six of vodka he ended up buying at the liquor store five minutes down the road. It had taken a little longer since Aizen was already somewhat drunk but he did make it and the cashier had let him have his alcohol. It wasn't much, and with the money he had received today he still had enough to go on his date. It was eleven when he started drinking, four he decided to take a nap to sleep off the alcohol in his system, knowing well enough that Ichigo would be home at six. Aizen figured he'd easily wake up once Ichigo returned but how wrong he was. The sound of footsteps had Aizen sit up, looking at Ichigo whose mix match eyes held sadness.

"Ichi, I'm sorry I fell asleep," Aizen apologized.

"Don't sweat it," Ichigo answered softly while looking at the floor. "Are you hungry? I can make eggs."

The thought of food had Aizen's stomach roll with nauseas. There was no way he was eating without the thought of becoming best friends with the toilet. It had been a week since he'd drank and now that he was awake he wished he'd slept more. He had no pounding headache but he did wish that his stomach wasn't in turmoil.

"Want some anti-nausea pills?" Ichigo asked.

 _Shit! He knows, doesn't he?_ Aizen thought to himself.

"You look a little green is all," Ichigo continued. "I'm sure they'll help. I think they're non-drowsy too."

Aizen relaxed at that. Maybe Ichigo didn't know which meant he could say he was still sober. It would make him happy. He knew that when Constable Uruhara and Kurotsuchi the day after Ichigo went to the hospital for a routine checkup Ichigo was so pleased that the breathalyser said there was no alcohol was in his system. They had left just as easily as they arrived, saying that they would be watching and listening for any disturbance calls in the building caused by him.

"Maybe we can go out to breakfast, to make up for last night?" Aizen offered.

"It's one in the afternoon," Ichigo said quietly, like he was afraid he would be attacked.

"Lunch?" Aizen asked.

"I already ate something," Ichigo lied.

"Oh," Aizen said. "Do you work today?"

"Heading out now," Ichigo answered. "I work till midnight."

Aizen got off the couch, his stomach lurching at the movement and begging to have the contents in his stomach splatter onto the carpet. Aizen refused and continued to move towards Ichigo. Holding Ichigo's face in his hands, Aizen softly pressed his lips against Ichigo's, not sensing the look of disgust on his face from the stench of alcohol that was still on Aizen's clothing.

"I love you, have a good day at work," Aizen said after the kiss.

"I love you too," Ichigo said.

Aizen waited at least ten minutes before he went into the bedroom and looked into the closet before digging out a bottle of whiskey. His body demanded he have something to get rid of the nausea in his stomach. Once the alcohol hit his stomach Aizen felt better. There was no uneasy feeling in him as he drank the whiskey like water. The strong taste alcohol had no longer bothered Aizen's taste buds.

"This is the last time," Aizen told himself, even if he knew that it was a lie.

After a few more days later Aizen went back on his words again and drank himself into oblivion. Again, the bottles he had disappeared again and the house was in the state it had been in prior to Aizen drinking. Aizen was confused about what went on, however, he figured he may have put the bottles away when he was black out drunk. Either that or Ichigo put them away but Aizen wouldn't ask.

Aizen had only gone to one AA meeting and afterwards he had pretended to go and went to a friend's house and got high on marijuana with them. Ichigo offered to attend a meeting with him but Aizen declined. Aizen didn't feel like getting caught and seeing that sadness in Ichigo's eyes that only made him want to drink more. Aizen wasn't the man Ichigo deserved but he also refused to give Ichigo up.

"He's mine," Aizen said to himself as he finished off the bottle of whiskey.

Out of sight out of mind. Those words were the first thing Ichigo thought as he woke up. No alarm clock to wake him and the skies were still a pearly grey. It had to be early, maybe five. Ichigo didn't know what day it was aside from his day off. Right now Karakura Town was going through a heat wave. It wasn't too hot now but during the night it had been. Ichigo's body was soaked in sweat, he could feel it in his hair.

There was nothing to do. If he wanted he could take the bus and go to the pool or he could walk down to the air conditioned mall. He wasn't sure what to do. Today was payday, at least that's what Ichigo remembered it to be. A sigh left Ichigo's lips as he rolled out of bed, knowing that there was no chance of him going back to sleep. While it was still early and Aizen was asleep Ichigo decided he would shower and get the sweat off his body.

In and out. It was relatively quick as he soaped up his body and washed his hair. The fan was left on to keep the hot air out as well as a window was kept open. If Ichigo could grow a beard he would but it seemed he didn't grow facial hair. It was unfortunate and with his short stature didn't help Ichigo that much. It made him feel less masculine even if no one had teased him about it in high school.

It had been close to a month that Aizen kept his promise about sobering up but Ichigo wasn't a fool. He could count the number of times Aizen went back on his word on both his hands. Ichigo had to clean up after Aizen, to fool the man into believe that he wasn't found out and Ichigo wasn't a fool to believe that Aizen really went to his AA meetings. The stench of marijuana reeked on Aizen's clothing when he returned and whether he knew it or not he wasn't gone for only two hours but several.

Once the shower finished Ichigo dried himself off. It had been a while since he'd last cut himself but he was itching for more, waiting for the event that would set him over the edge to do it once more. His cutting wasn't for suicide attempts but more because the physical pain drowned out the emotional pain. This was something Ichigo could control and no one else.

"Maybe I'll actually go to the pool," Ichigo thought to himself.

Time had passed enough that the bruises on his body had left and the cuts along his wrists and arms wouldn't be as noticeable. Ichigo had seen the weather report last night and was told that it was supposed to be in the low thirty degrees. That was hot even for Karakura Town. There had been times as a kid the summer had been in the high thirties. Thankfully his parents had air conditioning but it had still been hot out.

In these apartments there was nothing to save them from the heat but a dingy fan to sit in front of that still only managed to blow warm air. The house was dark, windows open but it still managed to be hot as hell. Thankfully there was enough ice trays in the freezer that allowed Ichigo to make cold drinks. From time to time he even stuck his head in the freezer to gain some semblance of cool air.

The hot air was enough to drive Ichigo insane at times. He had a bunch of water but it was only a temporary relief. Ichigo didn't know if it was okay to take the car. It was in Aizen's name but he'd lost his license because of all the tickets and DUIs. They insurance wouldn't run out for a few more months but the registration had been under Ichigo's name. Thankfully Aizen never got in any accidents. There was no chance of it being renewed, not when Aizen was unable to use it and Ichigo couldn't afford to buy gas. There was still a half a tank left in the care and it was good enough on gas that if Ichigo wanted to go to pool if he could.

Part of Ichigo wanted to eat but when he went into the cupboard there wasn't much to eat. He opened the fridge and again it was pretty empty. There was a few eggs left, maybe a fourth a cup of milk that was no doubt expired, a few slices of sliced cheese and some condiments. It was a pathetic that the fridge was that empty. The cupboard wasn't such a bad disgrace. There was a can of refried beans, a jar of peanut butter, rice, salsa, and a few assort canned foods. There wasn't much he could make a meal out of and the bread was starting to grow mold.

A sigh was all Ichigo could give to the empty fridge. He had bought some food to make for the week but Aizen must have eaten them when he was away at work. Ichigo noticed but couldn't say much about it. There were a few dollars left in Ichigo's bank account since he hadn't been supporting Aizen's habit. If he went to the beach maybe, just maybe he'd buy himself some food and spend the day at the pool. He could invite Aizen, maybe have some quality time together.

There was nothing left for Ichigo to do and poured rice into the slow cooker. It was all he really had to make and at least there was soy sauce to spice up his meal. It would be a while to eat but that was alright. There wasn't much to do so Ichigo turned on the television and watched cooking shows. It didn't help the rumbling in his stomach as he watch chefs prepare meals.

Seeing the food, it made Ichigo's stomach rumble violently making him slightly nauseous. It took a few seconds for Ichigo's stomach to settle before he got up to grab a can of peaches he swore he saw in the cupboard. Ichigo felt satisfied when he did look through the cupboard and found the can of peaches he was looking for. However, when he opened said can of peaches he noticed that it was spaghetti in a can. Confused, Ichigo looked at the can label once more to make sure that was what he saw. It was and it made him wonder what kind of place put a can of spaghetti and mixed the label up with peaches. That was peculiar unless someone changed the label themselves.

"Well, I guess it's better than putting soy sauce on rice," Ichigo decided.

Rather than put the spaghetti on the stove to reheat Ichigo decided he'd rather nuke it in the microwave instead. It was faster and easier. It wasn't often Ichigo enjoyed a treat like spaghetti in a can. Having it on buttered toast as a child had been his favorite lunch with a side of sliced cucumbers. It was a nostalgic feeling that made him miss childhood. Back when life was easier and Ichigo was free to roam and be who he wanted to be.

Ichigo didn't know he was crying until he saw his reflection on a drying pot by the sink. Black bags were under his eyes showing how truly tired Ichigo was. The exhaustion was evident and it made Ichigo look at himself for a few seconds; he didn't recognize his reflection. He looked horrible with his skinny face, unkempt hair that went past his ears that needed grooming but hey, at least his nose wasn't crooked from the breaks Aizen had caused.

There wasn't much for Ichigo to do so rather than wait for the rice to cook he went back to the couch where he watched television.

The house was silent, with Aizen sleeping and the television on a quiet setting. After a while Ichigo felt himself nodding off. He attempted to keep his lids open but it only served to keep them closed. Before long darkness engulfed Ichigo only to be startled awake. He gasped, looking around only to see the ending credits of the show he hadn't been watching. Pressing guide on the remote, Ichigo noticed that it was closer to seven now. The rice cooker shut off automatically so it was a positive that he didn't cook with the stove. The rumbling of Ichigo's stomach reminded him that he was starving. The weakness in his body demanded that he get nutrients. His body was used to being deprived of food though. As Ichigo stood in front of the rice cooker he thought about not eating at all. The desire to not eat made Ichigo go back to the couch, ignoring the part that said he should it.

 _Food isn't worth wasting on myself,_ Ichigo thought to himself as he curled back on the couch.

It was true: food wasn't worth wasting on himself. Why when Aizen was the one who had once made the majority of the financial contributions to the household. He was the boss and what Aizen wanted Aizen got. Now, with Ichigo making more money it only went to what Aizen wanted. One time Ichigo had forgotten to make food for Aizen and it resulted in the food being thrown on the floor. Dishes shattered and left shallow cuts on Ichigo and a seething Aizen said that if Ichigo couldn't cook for the both of them that there was no point in Ichigo eating. That a pathetic person such as himself wasn't worth wasting food on when there were better prospects to using the food.

Those words cut Ichigo deep and it made him want to grab the blade he knew was hidden in the couch underneath the cushions. Occasionally Aizen would remove the cushions but the blade was in the crevasse where all items became lost whether it be money or remote controls.

"I'm nothing," Ichigo whispered to himself as he found himself grabbing the blade and holding it in his hands, waiting to cut himself.

 _I promised myself I'd stop,_ Ichigo told himself.

Yet, another part of him spoke up, telling him about how Aizen had said the same thing about giving up alcohol. That part of Ichigo was urging him to cut into his flesh, to feel the red liquid emerge from his skin to stain it. The healing wounds were whispering that they be cut open once again.

"No!" Ichigo whispered harshly as he looked at his faded scars.

Ichigo knew he had to show more restraint than this but with the craving wanting blood it made it harder and harder to resist. Sometimes Ichigo wished he never took to cutting his wrists. Instead of being awake Ichigo went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom where he grabbed a bottle of Melatonin and a few Gravol. Popping a few Gravol in his mouth, Ichigo turned on the tap to swallow water. The pills easily went into his empty stomach and after placing Melatonin under his tongue to dissolve Ichigo went back to his spot on the couch where he would sleep. Food could wait. After all, why did he deserve to eat?

However, sleep didn't allow Ichigo allude reality for long. The sound of someone moving around the house had Ichigo startle awake. The person moving around was Aizen and when he saw the amount of rice and spaghetti in a can on the Aizen's plate it made Ichigo sad that he had lost the chance to eat. Maybe he could get a date out of Aizen though.

"Morning," Ichigo greeted Aizen.

"M'rnin'," Aizen said back with his mouth full of food.

"Did you want to go to the pool with me?" Ichigo asked Aizen, already knowing the answer would be no.

"I have to work," Aizen lied, avoiding Ichigo's gaze as he shovelled another spoonful of food in his mouth.

Ichigo not knowing what Aizen was truly doing nodded his head and left it at that. Aizen was kind enough to offer Ichigo the car and he'd take the bus which was rather generous.

"Thanks," Ichigo said and gave Aizen a kiss on the cheek.

That was how things had been when Ichigo left the house. Now he was alone at the pool where there was barely anyone. In time the pool would be packed but it was still early in the day. Ichigo had stopped to buy a few drinks with a bag of chips and a sandwich but that was it. With his lack of eating Ichigo didn't know whether the food would spoil or not. Rather than take off his shirt, he kept the long sleeved shirt on and had a pair of swimming shorts he had changed into. There was nothing of importance on him aside from the keys but the chances of someone stealing his car was slim to none.

The hot tiles burned Ichigo's feet as he made his way to the water and once he managed to walk in his feet suffered less. It didn't hurt that much but once he was in the he felt himself feel better at escaping the hot summer heat. It didn't take long before Ichigo was standing on his tippy toes trying to keep his head above water. He was only 5'3" after all and compared to most men his size he was small fry. It had taken some time to get used to the frigid waters and even now he was still cold. A few teenage girls nearby him screamed loudly as they ran into the water, accidently splashing him in the process.

"Sorry," one of the girls apologized with a giggle.

"It's okay," Ichigo murmured and began to swim to the other end of the pool where the diving board was located.

They had gotten rid of the some of the toys kids would play with when Ichigo was younger. They at one point had a couple of slides for children to go down. There were none ot the larger scales ones now and a very large diving board that went up to over thirty meters disappeared.

The water was cold still and with the heavy shirt on Ichigo's body he decided to head back to his seating area where he would dry off and relax. There were food stands nearby and vendors as well as those who sold alcohol. Ichigo only took his debit card with him and that was what remained in his short pockets so that he didn't lose it. Even so, the chances of someone finding it and stealing it were slim to none. Not like there was anything worth stealing.

Once at the shore Ichigo was surprised to hear his name called. Shrugging it off, Ichigo continued to make his way near the trail where he had placed his bag and towel. There was no one that would talk to him now that he had abandoned his friends for Aizen. There was no one who cared enough to keep in contact with Ichigo except for Karin.

"Ichigo wait up!" shouted the person again.

Ichigo turned around to see Grimmjow and couldn't believe his eyes. He honestly thought that Grimmjow would stay away. Didn't the man understand that Ichigo didn't want him around?

 _I'll sea you later,_ rang through Ichigo's head at the joke.

Ichigo's face held awe and surprise at the joke. It wasn't just a pun but also a subtle reminder that they would meet again. Grimmjow was a fool for not giving up on him, yet, remembering the joke had a warm smile form on Ichigo's face. As much of a fool Grimmjow tended to be the fact he still tried and never gave up somewhat gave Ichigo hope. Maybe, just maybe he could have at least one friend even if his bitter, jaded behavior didn't push Grimmjow away.

"I have a joke for you," Grimmjow sang.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone," Ichigo said.

"And I said I'd see you later," Grimmjow retorted.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at the remark. "You know it's bad for your health to hang around me."

"Eh," Grimmjow said dismissively. "We don't live long life. Why sell myself short and live a little. Do you wanna walk around with me?"

"Sure," Ichigo agreed after a moment of hesitation. "Are you gonna tell me that joke?"

"What is the color grey but can't fly?" Grimmjow asked.

"What?" Ichigo asked.

"The parking lot," Grimmjow answered.

"…Why Grimmjow, I think that is the worst joke you've ever told me," Ichigo said.

"What can I say, I'm running low on material and I'm saving the best for last," Grimmjow replied with a warm smile and a hearty laugh.

It was risky business hanging out with Grimmjow but Aizen liked the fact that Grimmjow was sort of a dirty little secret. Who would know?

"Sweet! Let's go!" Grimmjow said.

They made their way towards around the large pool. The farther along you went the more rocks appeared. They weren't real but were created so children could jump off them or slide off of them. It seemed dangerous but the parents hadn't started their protesting yet.

"You know, I know you but I don't really know you," Ichigo mused. "For all I know you could be an axe murderer waiting to kill me in these very bushes."

"Who me?" Grimmjow asks, feigning innocent. "Oh yes, beneath this rugged sexiness is a cold blooded killer. Just you wait, you'll never see it coming."

Ichigo found himself smiling at the tone, not knowing the last time he relaxed around someone. There was still some tension. Things though somewhat shaky between him and Aizen were getting better. Ichigo didn't want to ruin it by befriending Grimmjow only to enrage Aizen. Yet, part of him enjoyed the dirty little secret of having a friend.

"Seriously though, what's your last name? You know mine. It's fair for me to learn yours," Ichigo said.

"Grimmjow Jeagerjaques," Grimmjow said. "My mother is a Cajun who moved to Japan with her father as a child while my father is German. They met in Germany before moving to Japan. Both immigrants and how they ended up in Karakura Town I'll never know."

"This town sure attracts all sorts of people." Ichigo agreed.

It was then that Grimmjow stopped. They hadn't made it that far in the trail and it made Ichigo look at Grimmjow in confusion. The serious face on Grimmjow's face had Ichigo wondering what was going on in his mind.

"What's the matter?" Ichigo asked.

"I know your secret," Grimmjow said seriously.

It felt as if an ice cold bucket of water had been dumped on Ichigo. His secret? Which one? The fact that he had been abused or the fact that he cut himself. Knowing that he looked like a fish out of water, Ichigo fixed his composure. This was all a set up. Grimmjow had created a ruse to get Ichigo to go with him only to corner Ichigo.

"What secret?" Ichigo asked. "There is nothing wrong."

"You don't fool me, Ichigo Kurosaki," Grimmjow said. "You're in such a submissive stance, usually always are when around others. I've seen the bruises and marks. You just said 'there is nothing wrong" which outed yourself. Why do you stay with him? Why not leave?"

"You wouldn't understand," Ichigo spat angrily at Grimmjow.

"Don't understand?" Grimmjow said coldly. "I watched my step father beat my mother to an inch of her life. One time because she burned a fucking pancake. We moved to a safe house but she still took him back. I grew up watching my beautiful strong willed mother wither away into nothing because of him. If you think I don't understand you're mistaken. You think I don't understand when she'd going through the exact same thing as you. She used to tell me the same thing every time. "Don't worry my little Kitten, nothing will ever come to hurt you. This is only for a little while, I promise you. I watched her take a knife to the back for me. I don't want to see the same happen to you. I love you. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"How can you love me? No one loves a pitiful human like me. I'd be better if you just let your so called love shrivel up and die," Ichigo counted back harshly.

"No!" Grimmjow protested. "I'd loved you ever since I first saw you in grade eight. It took two years of admiration when I would finally confess but you were with Aizen. I'll always love you. No matter how many times you hurt me. I've never stopped loving you."

Before Ichigo could make a response Grimmjow gently cupped Ichigo's face, pressing his lips against Ichigo's. The softness as Ichigo gasp. It sent electricity running through Ichigo's body and he felt his body melt against Grimmjow. It had been so long since Ichigo felt something like this. So long. Aizen rarely gave Ichigo soft loving kisses. Most of the time it was harsh and something unwanted by Ichigo. Without knowing it, Ichigo stood on his tip toes and had his hands hold Grimmjow into place as he kissed him back. Ichigo was just starting to enjoy the kiss when three words rang through his head: You fucking whore. Those words held Aizen's voice and it had Ichigo gasp, his eyes opening widely before he pushed Grimmjow back.

"You can't love me. Stay away! You'll get us both killed in the end," Ichigo said. "I don't want your love. Fuck off. Don't come near me. This is a fruitless endeavor."

Without giving a response Ichigo high tailed it out of the trail and began to run to where he left his things. It hadn't been long since he had been at the pool and since Aizen was at "work" Ichigo didn't expect him to be home. It was rather easy to avoid the stunned Grimmjow as Ichigo made his way towards his car. The trek up the hill was a pain in the ass but Ichigo has a head start. Grimmjow only emerged from the trail as Ichigo entered the car. Starting the car up, Ichigo began to drive away. Ignoring the shouted pleas from Grimmjow to wait. There was no way that Ichigo would wait for him. There was no way he could reciprocate those feeling Grimmjow had for him; Ichigo was damaged goods. No one would love him.

If Grimmjow truly loved him then he would leave Ichigo along and not bother with seeking a relationship. Aizen was dangerous and mad with jealousy when he wanted to be. Ichigo was his and his alone. Ichigo wasn't a fool to try and push the boundaries by leaving Aizen for Grimmjow, a man he barely knew. Ichigo wasn't a fool. There was no escaping Aizen and Ichigo was too far trapped in his web to ever leave.

Ichigo didn't know he was shaking until he hit a red light on the main street that lead to his house. He was breathing heavily as his body trembled from fright. It wasn't just fright of what happened between him and Grimmjow but Aizen finding out. There were people around the pool and word travelled fast in this small town. People had nothing better to do than gossip about one another. Ichigo's heart hammered against his chest as he tried to tell himself Aizen wouldn't find out. How could he when Ichigo was sure that he saw none of Aizen's friends.

"He'll never find out," Ichigo whispered to himself as he made his way along Main Street. "As long as you act normal and lovingly he'll never suspect a thing. It wasn't cheating; you're not a whore."

However, the more Ichigo spoke the more it brought emotional turmoil and the thought of Aizen finding out. Trying to breathe, Ichigo had to remind himself as he turned onto the street his home resided on that Aizen might notice his distraught state and might question what went wrong. There was no telling what could go wrong. The beating would be worse than before. Either Ichigo would be dead or beaten to an inch of his life as a warning that no one would ever replace Aizen. If Aizen ever found out who took a fancy to Ichigo it was obvious that he would go after Grimmjow next. There was no stopping Aizen in his drunken rage.

Ichigo parked the car and took a few calming deep breathes before he began to open the door. His lefts felt like jelly as he went towards the house. Opening the gate, Ichigo could already hear the loud bass music playing and dread consumed his body.

 _Oh no,_ Ichigo thought to himself. _Please just be enjoying the song, please just be enjoying the song._

As much as Ichigo told himself to believe that Aizen really enjoyed the song he knew the truth. Aizen was drunk. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. The loud music beating matched Ichigo's heart as he tried to calm himself knowing he was walking into his future misery. There was nothing that could stop Ichigo and once he entered the house he saw Aizen come from the kitchen. The next three words hit him like a brick.

"You cheating whore," Aizen snarled.


	9. Chapter 9

**Briar: okay, some dark shit is to ensue, a warning so I don't get bitched out. I know, takes the fun out of the surprise. Also, I made Ichigo a verbivore, he uses words to keep some semblance of sanity in harsh situations. You'd see it more in chapters 1,2 and 4 if you wanna go back and see the words he used ^^ I thought they were kind of cool.**

"You cheating whore,"

 _Chicanery: Noun. Trickery, also means deception,_ Ichigo thought in order to not work himself up and remind himself to breathe.

There was no saving Ichigo from Aizen's ire once those three words left his mouth. There wasn't time for Ichigo to placate Aizen before a fist slammed into Ichigo's face. Though the pain was agonizing, Ichigo knew better than to make a sound. With the fury that radiated off of Aizen it was best to be silent than speak unless told to. Ichigo wasn't that stupid to make Aizen want to hit him more. The fierce throbbing pain from where Aizen struck him was reminder enough. No sound, no tears. As long as Ichigo was quiet Aizen wouldn't dole out a punishment worse than intended. A lesson he learned quickly.

Though Ichigo was smart when dealing with Aizen he was unpredictable and it made it hard to know what he would do. With Aizen it was like dealing with a ticking time bomb; you never what could set it off.

"I saw you," Aizen hisses. "You slut. Who is he? Have you been fucking him behind my back?"

"No never," Ichigo replied. "I only have eyes for you, Aizen. I love you."

"Liar!" Aizen roared.

There was no stopping Aizen with his rant. Ichigo wouldn't have answered the question, but if he didn't Aizen would beat him until he did. Many errors had been made to teach Ichigo how Aizen would react. A finger twitching, a facial expression change; Ichigo was observant. He knew when Aizen would pop a fuse. Right now Aizen was blowing a gasket at the accusation of Ichigo being a cheating whore. He wasn't too far from the truth. Aizen would kill him or beat him to an inch of his life as a warning. There was no one for Ichigo Ever. There was no leaving either. Aizen would find him and Aizen would kill him before setting Ichigo free.

"Who is he?" Aizen asked.

"…"

No response. Ichigo was trying to breathe properly but he was taking in more oxygen than needed. He wouldn't pass out like the time with Constable Uruhara though. If only. It would mean that Ichigo could have peace of mind even if it was only for a few minutes. There would be no fear until he woke up.

"Get up!" Aizen demanded.

Ichigo managed to stand without vomiting. It was close to noon and he hadn't eaten since 5 p.m. yesterday. He was getting close to twenty-four hours without eating. His stomach churned but Ichigo forced down his nausea. There were times he wasn't feeling sick but now he was. Not only from the lack of food but from the endless possibilities of what Aizen could do to him.

"Worthless bitch," Aizen sneered as he moved closer to Ichigo. "No one will ever want trash like you. I'm the only one who will take such damaged goods."

 _You're the one who made me damaged,_ Ichigo thought bitterly.

"Wipe that expression off your face," Aizen ordered.

Ichigo had no idea what expression Aizen refeered to but the look in his eyes had Ichigo quickly remedy the problem. Allowing his eyes to dull, his face grew slack and he chose a more stoic look. A short breath left Ichigo's lips as he kept his gaze on Aizen's shoes. Ichigo knew better than to look at Aizen.

"Come here," Aizen commanded.

Ichigo felt himself shuffling towards Aizen without hesitation. If he refused he'd get beaten, if he went he got beaten there was no winning with Aizen. In the end Ichigo was nothing but Aizen's personal punching bag used as he saw fit.

If only Ichigo had ignored Grimmjow then this wouldn't be happening. Ichigo wouldn't be hurt and called a cheating whore and have it actually be somewhat true. Yet, even though Ichigo resented Grimmjow those few moments of caring and compassion would have had him do it all over again. Grimmjow had made Ichigo feel like he mattered again. No matter how many times Ichigo tried to push Grimmjow away he always came back. As much as Ichigo wanted to cry he knew better; crying was for the weak.

A sudden burst of pain erupted from Ichigo's chest causing him to stumble back and fall on his ass. Gasping for air, Ichigo looked up to see the furious gaze from Aizen. Quickly looking down, Ichigo felt tension leave his body when he didn't see blood saturating his clothing. The most Aizen did was throw an object at Ichigo or push him.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you, bitch," Aizen growled. "You're worthless. Nothing. Nothing without me! Just a tool to be used for my pleasure and disposal; nothing but a doll."

"I'm nothing but a doll," Ichigo monotonously agreed, his mix match eyes dulling. _He's right. I'm worthless. I can't do anything right._

If Ichigo was an idiot he'd have tears falling from his eyes but he learned that tears either angered Aizen or had no effect. Right now Aizen was unhinged and drunk making him volatile and there was no telling how he'd react to the tears. There would be no regret that was for sure. Ichigo knew he wasn't perfect but that was what Aizen wanted. There was a part of him that wondered even if he did everything right if Aizen would still beat him, mistreat him or if he'd even love him.

 _Why can't you love me? Why must you own me? This isn't love. I don't deserve love. Not when I'm a worthless doll._

Aizen loomed over Ichigo and before he could ask what was going on, Aizen crouched down in front of him. Ichigo held his breath, not knowing what Aizen was up to but once he felt hands upon him Ichigo felt himself freeze. Those callous hands painfully gripped his hips and yanked Ichigo's body under him. Trying to fight, Ichigo was rewarded with a punch to the face. His teeth cut the inside of his mouth and Ichigo felt the copper taste in his mouth. It tainted his taste but it didn't stop him from weakly trying to push Aizen off of him.

"Stop moving!" Aizen barked before using one hand to tightly hold onto both of Ichigo's wrist.

Now immobile Ichigo felt his anxiety heighten. It had been a while since _that_ had happened to him. The last time Ichigo had any consensual sex was growing on over a year. The last punishment Ichigo had received to this extent was going on two weeks. Now it was happening again and Ichigo couldn't do anything to stop it. Tears brimmed in the corner of his eyes. Aizen wouldn't stop, Ichigo knew that. He wished that he wasn't here though. Anywhere would be better, even the pits of Hell would be a picnic compared to the torture Aizen put him through. Aizen was a yo-yo with his emotions and whatever way the yo-yo went made Aizen's decision on how he treated Ichigo.

"Please don't do this," Ichigo whimpered, his face paling. "I swear, I'm not a cheating whore. I only love you."

"Enough! Stop crying you fucking weakling!" Aizen lambasted.

Ichigo didn't even know he was crying but he did noticed that he was naked now minus his shirt being removed. To do that would give Ichigo enough time to struggle and try to escape. It would be fruitless in the end since he was far weaker than Aizen but he wasn't taking any chances.

The feeling of a blunt tip at his entrance had Ichigo tense. Dread filled him and he couldn't help but try to struggle. However, the increased pressure on his wrists caused Ichigo to stop. The force made him wonder if the pressure along could break his wrist and make him near worthless and unable to work.

 _Caustic: Adjective. It's burning or sarcastically burning._

A muffled scream escaped Ichigo's lips at being penetrated. Aizen had been smart and covered his mouth with his hand at the time, the only time he had released Ichigo and once he was seated inside him Ichigo felt a belt wrap around his wrists keeping him tied up. There was never any hope for Ichigo to have any pain alleviated. The intense throbbing in his backside had tears streaking his face as he desperately tried to wiggle his hips away from the pain.

 _Buttress: Noun/verb. Support. It also means prop up._

 _Dogmatic: Adjective. Opinionated. Also means arbitrary or doctrinal._

 _Ken: Noun. Range of knowledge; perception._

 _Foment: Verb. Stir up; instigate; provoke._

Word after word, definition after definition came up in a flurry for Ichigo but it did nothing to calm him as he was forced to face Aizen. Blood coated the man's penis and Ichigo's sobbed were heard along with the sickening sound having Aizen's cock move in and out of him. Begging was futile and there was only anger in Aizen's eyes. His acations showed no clemency as his fingers harshly dug into Ichigo's hips. Blood leaked from the crescent shaped moon marks left on his hips. They would scar no doubt, not that there wasn't scars already. There was no stopping Aizen and he gave Ichigo no time to adjust to the intrusion only making the pain all the more excruciating.

"You're nothing but a doll!" Aizen jeered. "So fucking worthless."

Ichigo turned his head to the side, focusing on the wall as he nodded his head in agreement. He was nothing but a doll. Even after the countless times of being taken without permission it hurt Ichigo the core leaving another scar on his soul. There was no saving someone as corrupt as him. Ichigo was a fool to think that Grimmjow would ever be good for him.

 _Homogenous: Adjective. Of the same kind. I'm nothing but a doll. Used as saw fit for Aizen's entertainment._

The feeling of a hand around his throat had Ichigo's gaze move down to his throat, knowing Aizen had already started to strangle him. Ichigo must have been into his own mindset that he hadn't heard Aizen speaking to him. Looking at the arm that made it difficult to breathe, Ichigo dared to look at Aizen if only for an instant. The rage had him flinch only to feel the grip around his throat tighten.

"Can't…breathe," Ichigo gasped.

"Why should I even let you live?" Aizen asked. "It's not like anyone would miss trash like you. I'd be doing the world a favor."

Ichigo didn't say anything, knowing that sooner or later he would pass out. If he was lucky he'd pass out and wouldn't have to endure the pain of being taken. If he spoke it might give Aizen that final push to kill Ichigo. As much as Ichigo hated himself he wasn't suicidal. Self-mutilation yes, but not suicidal.

The girth in Ichigo was excoriating and brought no pleasure. It was so hard to remember the last time Ichigo took pleasure in sexual activities. When was the last time Aizen had lovingly caressed him? When was the first time Ichigo didn't fear him? Wondering when Aizen would change. There was nothing that could change Aizen and it broke Ichigo into pieces, shattering him. There was no escaping his fate. He would die before Aizen let him go free.

"Please stop," Ichigo pleaded, knowing that his words were empty to Aizen.

Each time Aizen took advantage of him it felt like time slowed down as punishment for not being good enough. No matter how many times Ichigo tried he wasn't good enough. Nothing he did pleased Aizen. When he bought alcohol it wasn't the right kind or it wasn't strong enough. When Ichigo cooked it was the wrong food. He wasn't a mind reader and he always seemed to fail Aizen.

 _Just kill me already,_ Ichigo thought as the pressure around his throat lessened allow Ichigo to gasp for air.

Why? Why was he such a failure? There was no saving himself. Depression and pain shined within his body, covering him in a dark feeling as he laid on the floor, taking the abuse. Every so often he'd feel nails rank down his body, causing blood to come from the scratches Aizen caused. Or when Aizen felt the need to bash Ichigo's head against the wall because the sobs were too loud. When that happened Ichigo bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

There was no easy way out. No matter how many times Ichigo cut his wrist he never had the initiative to fill the bath with water and slice into his arms and legs allowing him to bleed out. There were times Ichigo contemplated it but it never happened. Instead he'd cut his wrists, bandage the wounds and put the long sleeve t-shirt on to cover what he had done. There was no escaping Aizen.

No prince would come to save Ichigo. Grimmjow could never save him and even after the man confessed his love to Ichigo he would never leave. Aizen would make sure of it and Ichigo was too scared to leave. Aizen would hunt him down, kill Grimmjow while Ichigo was tied up, forced to watch. There was a possibility of that happening or Ichigo could be locked up for a week to force him to forget ever thinking of leaving. Ichigo wouldn't chance it. He wouldn't have Grimmjow's blood on his hands. Unlike Ichigo, Grimmjow had people who would miss him if he died.

"If you hate me so much just kill me!" Ichigo sobbed.

"Never!" Aizen growled. "You're _mine._ No one wanted you before me and no one will want you now."

 _He's right,_ Ichigo thought, shuddering as he felt Aizen release inside of him.

There was no pleasure in the act of dominance Aizen had. As he removed himself from Ichigo, the noise had him shaking worse than a leaf in a windstorm. There was no telling what Aizen would do to him now. Tied up, Ichigo was vulnerable and there was no telling what could happen. Death was what Ichigo wished for. Even if it was going to hurt nothing could compare to the agony he felt when Aizen forced himself into Ichigo.

"That's a warning for the next time you decide to be a slut," Aizen said. "There won't be a next time."

There was no asking for freedom and when he felt a swift kick to the side it had Ichigo grit his teeth. The pain exploded and it caused Ichigo to fall to the side. His whole body ached and there was no way Ichigo would be walking without a limp for the next little while. There was no decency for Ichigo as he laid on the flood, soaked in blood. A blanket from the couch was thrown over his body but he was left on the floor as Aizen left for the bedroom. When the door slammed shut, that was when the damn broke and a whole new batch of fresh tears flooded out.

Aizen was right. There would be no next time though. If Ichigo ever thought of leaving, he was a dead man walking. Aizen didn't give up his things easily. Didn't matter if it was food or money; Aizen was possessive and selfish. Ichigo was just another one of his toys that he owned. A doll.

Even if Ichigo had the strength to move there was no way he could free himself unless he went to the kitchen and managed to cut through his binds with a knife. There was no way Ichigo could even move. His back felt like he was being hit over and over again. There were no doubt bruises on his hips but he was covered with a blanket; Aizen hiding his trash. That was all Ichigo was; worthless. Ichigo didn't know what he deserved to have Aizen hate him so much. If only he could go back time, if only he could reset what had happened then Ichigo could save himself from the endless torture. He could escape a monster.

 _Reprobate: Noun/adjective. Person hardened in sin; devoid of a sense of decency; morally depraved._


	10. Chapter 10

Grimmjow didn't understand why people like his mother, people like Ichigo never accepted help when given to them. All he wanted to do was save Ichigo from the abuse. Time after time he had seen his mother crawl back to his step father after a few sweet words and promises of him never hurting her again. Was it because after time they were acceptant of their fate? Had their souls been broken and they didn't see anything better for themselves?

"I'm a fool," Grimmjow sighed as he sat on the chair in his friend Szayel's house.

"Unrequited love is a bitch, isn't it?" Szayel asked as he toyed with his blue and purple hair.

Szayel had been Grimmjow's best friend, or as he liked to say G.B.F (gay best friend), since they were children. He had always been flamboyant and into girly shit. When they'd met in kindergarten rather than play with blocks Szayel played with dolls. A few kicks mocked him and it was Grimmjow who knocked down their tower of blocks on top of them. Of course it was an "accident" and after seeing the tears of children both Szayel and Grimmjow had bonded. Grimmjow had said he liked the pink nail polish Szayel had and Szayel complimented his light up shoes.

They had stuck like glue and over time Grimmjow had helped his effeminate friend. They were thick as thieves. Grimmjow had even helped dye Szayel's hair. They had it styled at a hair salon, where Szayel would endlessly gossip with the woman who did his hair. For a while he had the angular fringe look, saying it was in style still. With tapered sides, the top layer was cut at an angle but longer, his bangs going to the side of his face. The tapered bottom part of his hair was a deep purple and the higher it went it went to a dark blue to a lighter blue. The shades bled into one another and once it was done Szayel said it was fabulous.

The fact that they were still friends and roommates astounded Grimmjow. The fact that the man took an hour to get ready in the morning was terrible; he was as bad as a woman. Today though Szayel pointed out he only took _fifty-four_ minutes. He had to shower, which took thirty minutes of "perfection" and put on makeup. Today he adorned sparkly blue eyeliner with gold glitter on his face and silver glitter within his locks. Since it was his day off Szayel wore powder blue nail polish to match his eyeliner. No matter how much Grimmjow would dislike his friend's vanity it didn't matter; they were together forever. Inseparable even when Grimmjow moved to out of Karakura Town for school.

"Grimmjow, you remember that pine tree I got you three years ago, yeah?" Szayel asked then popped his bubble gum with a loud pop.

"Yeah?" Grimmjow answered.

"And you remember how I told you I would plant it once I named it?" Szayel continued.

"Yeah?" Grimmjow said even more worried than before.

"I've named it," Szayel told him.

Grimmjow sighed before looking at Szayel who had the glimmer of sadism that he called glee on his face. "What is it?"

"Ichigo, for all the time you've been _pining_ after him," Szayel told him. "Get it, _pining_ , because it is a _pine_ tree."

"I got it," Grimmjow said dryly. "I really don't get why I don't throw you out."

"Because you lo-ve me," Szayel sang.

"God knows why," Grimmjow muttered and rolled his eyes.

"Grimmjow," Szayel said.

"Yeah?" Grimmjow answered.

"You've been in love with him for eight years, huh?" Szayel said.

"Ten," Grimmjow said before scowling at Szayel. "Fuck you."

"As if, I'm way out of your league," Szayel said.

"Go back to the mirror and fix your eyeliner, it's smudging," Grimmjow said meanly.

"Oh fuck you, you know I only use that high quality stuff," Szayel gasped even as he fumbled for his hand held mirror to check his makeup.

"Oh yeah, I bet the glitter in your hair is glitter glue!" Grimmjow countered.

The petrified look on Szayel's face was priceless. "One time! It was one time! I was seven okay, how was I supposed to know that glitter glue and glitter were two different things. I thought it'd look great with my green hair at the time. Least I didn't try to take chemistry for my unrequited love."

"Bitch please, at least I don't use hashtag gayboy as an attempt to find men on social media," Grimmjow retorted.

"It's called marketing and who wouldn't want my hotness," Szayel rhetorically asked.

Grimmjow received a dirty look from Szayel when he noticed that his makeup had not smudged or changed since he had applied it this morning. Sometimes Grimmjow could be mean to his best friend but he deserved it when he decided to make Grimmjow and his unrequited love for Ichigo a joke of some sorts. There was nothing wrong with loving someone for so long even if you hadn't seen them for several years. All Grimmjow wanted to do was save Ichigo, help him and maybe one day have them fall in love.

In the end the both of them were laughing at Szayel's response and Ichigo did remember the time his friend had put glitter glue in his hair claiming it to be just glitter. People had made fun of Szayel and he'd kicked their asses. If he was a gay boy then at least he was going to be one that could give an ass kicking.

"You're hopeless," Szayel sighed as he moved his rectangular glasses from the top of his head down over his eyes again.

Szayel was right. Grimmjow really was hopeless when it came to love and the fact his love was taken was even worse. Szayel was right, unrequited love sucked. Even if Ichigo never accepted his feelings verbally Grimmjow liked to think that when Ichigo had kissed him back that he harboured some feelings towards him.

"So, how are we going to get him to go on a date with you?" Szayel asked.

Grimmjow sighed. "You shouldn't meddle in other people's business."

"Pah-lease," Szayel said while waving his hand dismissively. "Honestly Reaper, you'll turn into a virgin if this keeps on going on…oh wait, you still are. Go get laid and find your happily ever after with a certain Spanish number. Better yet, spend the day in bed with him."

"You sound way too excited about that," Grimmjow said flatly. "I wish you never nicknamed me after death, Noodle."

"And yet you named me after that stupid instant ramen," Szayel scoffed. "Listen, the carnival is in a few weeks. I have two pre-ordered weekend pass. I bought one for you as a surprise for us. Take my ticket and take Ichigo out on a date or whatever. He can stay at my place. No one would dare come into my house. I got home security so if that fucker so much as breaks the window sirens will blare. He's safe."

"Have I ever told you how awesome you are?" Grimmjow asked.

"Only this morning at two when you called about how sweet my dream self was," Szayel said with a smile.

Aizen sighed as he laid in bed. He was an asshole but it had to be done. Ichigo was going to leave him for that scumbag. Aizen hadn't seen who he was but it was obvious the man had feelings for _his_ Ichigo. Aizen wouldn't allow Ichigo to leave him. There was no way in hell Ichigo would leave him. Aizen refused to lose the one person left who cared about him, who loved him in this world. Gin had left him, his mother had left him and his father had pretty much ostracized him for being gay.

In his rage, Aizen knocked the lamp off the nightstand in his room and heard the loud shatter. However, Aizen didn't move from the bed to clean his mess. That was what Ichigo was for. If it were up to Aizen he'd have the little slut locked up in the bedroom to be his own personal house wife. No way would he allow anyone to see Ichigo and risk losing him to anyone else. Sadly, Aizen didn't make enough money and there was no way he could lock Ichigo up for good without fear of the authorities knocking on the door and snooping around only to see Ichigo tied up. Aizen could chalk it up as a kink but he knew the police wouldn't fall for it. Especially that nosy fuck Uruhara.

"Yer mine," Aizen growled at the ceiling as he remembered Ichigo getting kissed by someone.

Aizen look another large sip of rye. He'd managed to sneak in a bottle earlier today and hid it under the bed where Ichigo wouldn't look. He had drunk it before and had his friend Tosen came and took him to the lake so he could watch Ichigo. They had drunk and sat in the large truck with air conditioning on to keep themselves cool. Tosen hadn't dared make a comment about Ichigo's body as he smoked his weed. They both shared the dime from a pipe. Las Noches was full of potheads and no one really cared.

Then they had snuck to the trails when Aizen had seen Ichigo leave. They had managed to follow and hide behind the bushes as they watched the scene between the two from a distance. If Aizen hadn't been too drunk he might have remembered the idiots face but it was all a blur. Once they kissed Aizen had Nikki drive him home where he would wait to dole out the slut's punishment.

"Why can't you love me?" Aizen asked no one.

Groggily Ichigo woke up and tried to roll over onto his back only to feel immense pain radiate from his backside. A gasp left his lips and words wanted to be spoken but Ichigo refused. It was slightly bright out and the sun had yet to rise. That meant it was early and there was no way Ichigo would wake up Aizen only to anger him. Ichigo was far from stupid.

 _I wonder when I fell asleep,_ Ichigo thought to himself.

It had to be late. He hadn't been out long and he'd been in too much pain to move around much. Aizen had drunken himself away in the afternoon. Ichigo had been in too much pain to move. Aizen had lovingly placed Ichigo on the couch but that was it. Tears formed in his eyes as he had seen the old Aizen for a minute.

"I'm sorry Ichi," Aizen had whispered as he kissed Ichigo's forehead. "Let me make it up to you. I'll go get you some food."

Even though he was inebriated Ichigo was too terrified to reject the offer. When Aizen left the house Ichigo was scared. Tears had finally fallen from his eyes as he felt the built up emotions finally break. Would that mean Aizen had changed back to his old self. Ichigo hoped so. Maybe Aizen realized his actions had gone too far finally. One could only hope.

Now, as Ichigo lied in his boxers on the couch, wide awake he wished he was asleep. It was too early for this. What time was it? There was a clock ticking away on the stand beside him that hadn't been broken yet in Aizen's rage. Looking at it had Ichigo's eyes bug out. 5:30. Oh god, did he even work today? Ichigo had been in so much pain and had left reality for a time to just stare into space and think that he had forgotten about work. He'd laid there while Aizen tried to play doting boyfriend.

The sound of the phone ringing only proved that Ichigo worked today. It must be his boss.

 _Shit!_ Ichigo cursed mentally.

"Hello?" Ichigo answered hoarsely.

"Hello, is this Ichigo?" Ichigo's boss asked.

"Yes," Ichigo replied.

"Did I wake you?" Nel asked.

"Almost," Ichigo answered.

"Oh. Well, I just wanted to let you know the time is 5:45 and you were scheduled at 5:30," Nel informed.

"…I'm sorry," Ichigo apologized. "I got hurt last night and forgot to call."

"Don't let it happen again," Nel advised. "I've been setting up but can you get here in twenty minutes at least?"

"Yeah," Ichigo replied.

"You don't have to work if you're badly injured. I understand. I'm not a complete jerk of a boss."

"No I'll work. I need the money anyway," Ichigo replied. "I'm so sorry I'm late."

"See you soon," Nel said and hung up.

Just like Ichigo promised he made it to the store in twenty. It was painful to even move but Ichigo managed. Taking a few pain killers he had around the house. He'd ended up vomiting them up on the way to work and took a few more. His breathe was gross and in the end Ichigo bought some chewing gum and breath mints before starting his shift. With his pale skin and exertion Nel had tried to get him to go home but Ichigo refused, saying that he'd be fine. In the end she let him work.

It wasn't until a few hours into his shift that Ichigo finished cleaning the bathrooms that he heard a chime indicating a customer. Since he'd just left the bathroom Ichigo went to the counter with Nel so she could check the inventory. When he looked up Ichigo noticed Grimmjow.

"How can I help you today, sir?" Ichigo asked in a tone he used with customers.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Grimmjow apologized.

"Sir, if you're not going to buy anything I'll have to ask you to leave the premises," Ichigo warned. "We don't like loitering or soliciting."

"Damn it, Ichigo let me talk to you!" Grimmjow said through gritted teeth.

"This is your last and final warning before I notify the police about your actions," Ichigo said.

"Alright I get it," Grimmjow said. "Don't come crying to me if that bastard kills you. I won't be there to save your ass."

"I never asked for your help," Ichigo replied, having his façade fade. "Leave."

"I'm already out the door," Grimmjow said as he pushed the door open.

Once Grimmjow left Ichigo felt the tension in his body ease. He prayed that Aizen wasn't stalking him again and watching his interaction with men. If Aizen found out it was Grimmjow that harboured feelings towards him then Ichigo was a dead man walking. He refused to die and though Aizen had never tried to kill him yet Ichigo wouldn't put it past him to try one day. There was no saving him.

"Ichigo?" Nel asked.

"Yes?" Ichigo responded.

"Who was that?" Nel wondered.

"No one important," Ichigo replied.

That was true. It was no one important. It was then he felt his phone vibrate and it had Ichigo tense in apprehension. Nel was on the other side of the store but Ichigo knew it was no one else other than Aizen calling.

 _Please stop calling,_ Ichigo internally begged.

There was no stopping the inevitable and Aizen didn't stop. Nel looked at him when she neared him to restock the chips and Ichigo apologized saying that it was Aizen. Somehow Nel knew about the abuse and she tried to get Ichigo to leave Aizen but Ichigo didn't pay her any mind. She used examples of her own life, saying how her own boyfriend had done the same thing but Ichigo didn't really see the similarities. The man only wanted to own Nel from the beginning; Aizen loved him. One day he would be his old self again.

"Go home for the day," Nel ordered.

"What? No, I can't," Ichigo said somewhat panicked.

Nel sighed. "It's not a request it's an order. I see how you try to hide your pain. Go, I don't feel like firing you today."

Ichigo nodded his head glumly and began to leave the store. Really, why was Nel doing this to him? There were times she threatened to call the cops on Aizen but there was no real evidence of his abuse. The bruises were concealed most of the time and in places no one would notice. The bruises around his throat were healed now and if he had any noticeable ones he'd been smart and used makeup.

 _I don't want go home. Not to him,_ Ichigo thought to himself.

Ichigo thought of going into town but was against it. If Aizen realized he was off early and didn't go home immediately then Aizen would take his rage out on Ichigo. Holding back a cringe, Ichigo made his way home. The pain medication had worn off a while back and moving around the store had hurt. All Ichigo wanted was a nice hot bath to relax his muscles but that was as likely as hell freezing over.

Ichigo could hear music blaring as he got close to home. It wasn't loud enough to have the cops arrive for a noise disturbance and the neighbor with the child was at daycare currently. There was no one else to complain about the music that was instrumental with no lyrics.

"He's drunk," Ichigo whispered to himself.

When Ichigo got to the door he could hear the vibration of the bass from the speakers. It was louder inside than it was outside. Aizen wasn't in the living room which made Ichigo feel a little bit better.

"Baby, I'm home early. Nel let me come home so I came back right away to see you!" Ichigo called out, hoping that Aizen wasn't angry.

And not too long after Ichigo spoke Aizen emerged from the corner where their bedroom was. He had a can of beer in his hand and his hair was dishevelled.

"Is that so?" Aizen sneered.

Ichigo nodded his head and he could see the underlying ire in Aizen's eyes. Ichigo didn't know what he did wrong this time. Why could he never appease Aizen?

"Why didn't you answer my call?" Aizen asked angrily.

"I couldn't baby, I tried but Nel was around," Ichigo said, trying to placate Aizen.

"Tch, I don't like that bitch. She's nosy," Aizen said. "Where's my booze?"

"What?" Ichigo asked confused.

"Did I fucking stutter?" Aizen asked. "I asked where my booze was? Did you check the phone I gave you at all?"

Ichigo shook his head. Aizen had handed Ichigo his cellphone for the day in order for Aizen to call him whenever he wanted. It was handed to him a few days ago and Ichigo suspected it was so that Aizen could make sure he could keep tabs on Ichigo. What Ichigo wondered was if he knew of Grimmjow before the kiss.

The sound of knocking on the door had Ichigo freeze. He looked at the direction of the door and Aizen. There was still ire in his eyes but there didn't seem to be any immediate danger for him.

"Answer the door," Aizen ordered.

Nodding his head, Ichigo made his way to the door as Aizen went to open another can of beer. Ichigo sighed, knowing that he was in for it now. Once Aizen started he didn't want to stop. Ichigo hoped that whoever was at the door wasn't Constable Uruhara or else Aizen was going straight to jail.

When Ichigo opened the door he was surprised to see a fox faced male with a pale skin and ice blue eyes. Lavender like hair framed his face and he wore aviator glasses, a blue tie and a grey suit. The mane was around five-eight, still marginally taller than Ichigo and he had to look up a little if he were to meet the man's gaze. He had a nice built body unlike Ichigo that was well toned.

"Names Gin Ichimaru," Gin said, "and I'm lookin' for Sosuke Aizen."


	11. Chapter 11

**Briar: So sorry. I've been soooooo busy with working and being a full time student. I'm going to be a health care aid. So much work. Even when I wasn't working and shit I lost my muse ya know. Took forever. I'm on winter break and I'll try to work more on my story. I do my practicum in January to March. Hope you enjoy. P.S. the cover to Bloody Scars is done by my fab friend Azzie. K.**

Ichigo looked at the man named Gin not knowing why he was looking for Aizen. Who was he? What did he want? Those questions ran through Ichigo's mind. He had no idea who this man was and why he was here.

"Gin," Aizen hissed in displeasure.

"Awe Pen, don't be like that," Gin teased. "I'm your lawyer and we're friends."

"I don't need you!" Aizen retorted.

"Of course not," Gin waved dismissively. "I'm here for non-lawyer business anyway. We have some catching up to do. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Over ten years!" Aizen snapped.

 _Lawyer, huh?_ Ichigo thought to himself.

There wasn't much that Ichigo knew about the charges Constable Kurotsuchi was pressing on Aizen for assault. Kurostuchi wasn't around a lot to do nightly checkups because the police didn't want a repeat offense. Instead, Uruhara was accompanied by a female companion known as Constable Tier Hallibel. Constable Hallibel was stoic as she had inspected the home to make sure that Aizen was sober. Somehow Lady Luck was on Aizen's side and they hadn't arrived when he was in his drinking binges. They would check to see if he was home and most nights the curtains were open and they'd see Aizen watching television.

They didn't enter the home unless they had a reasonable cause to like Aizen breaking his curfew or probation. The police didn't enter the house but sooner or later Lady Luck would have her way with the fates and Aizen would be caught and put back in jail.

"Ichigo, leave us," Aizen ordered. "I'll be speaking with Gin for some time."

"Where do you want me to go?" Ichigo asked.

"Out," Aizen replied. "Take the car if you want but if I find you went to that bastard I won't be happy."

"Okay," Ichigo whispered.

Ichigo took the phone he was given but left the keys and made his way outside. He didn't know who Gin was, or what his connection to Aizen was. All Ichigo knew was that Gin was a lawyer and there seemed to be a hatred towards him. There was no point in dwelling in thoughts like that because in the end Ichigo knew Aizen wouldn't tell him anything about Gin and their meeting; that was the kind of guy Aizen was.

"Love you, be back soon," Ichigo said to Aizen before he left.

There was nothing said from Aizen and it hurt Ichigo. All Aizen was focused on was Gin and nothing else seemed to matter.

 _It was only a matter of time before I was replaced,_ Ichigo thought to himself. _Now when does my funeral begin?_

Ichigo didn't know what else to do or where to go. It made him wonder why Gin, this man Ichigo had never heard about before, gained all of Aizen's attention. At one point Ichigo used to be the centre of Aizen's world now he was nothing but disposable trash used as Aizen saw fit. That was all Ichigo thought he would be. Nothing more and nothing less. Why would anyone want sloppy seconds?

There wasn't anything for Ichigo to do and though Aizen said for him to take the car Ichigo would rather walk. It was hot out, near thirty degrees but there was a cool breeze. The bright blue skies and few fluffy white clouds in the sky were worth enjoying while Aizen gave Ichigo his freedom. There was no destination for Ichigo but Willingdon beach seemed like a nice destination. The luscious green grass and secluded trails filled with birds and squirrels. It'd take around thirty or so minutes to reach his destination but with the phone in his pocket he'd know when Aizen wanted him back. That is, if Aizen wanted him back at all.

 _Nothing but trash._

That was all Ichigo was. He was disposable and Aizen would either throw him out or kill him. There was no escape. It hurt knowing that Ichigo got too far deep. There were times he thought how he could run away. The ferry was so close and if he got on it, Aizen would never be able to find him. In under two hours he'd make it to Comox, could hitchhike and escape. There was only so far he'd be able to go if he were on Vancouver Island but with his money he coud possibly hitch a ride down to Nanaimo and make it to Vancouver where he could escape anywhere in Canada on the Trans-Canada highway if he wasn't killed first. The idea was a fruitless endeavor and with all the money Aizen sucked from him there was a slim chance that Ichigo could ever escape.

Ichigo made it by the gymnasium before he heard the sound of a car stopping. The light ahead wasn't read and it caused Ichigo to look back. A 2016 Nissan Maxima rolled up and in the driver's side was Grimmjow. Of course. Tch. Ichigo couldn't help but roll his eyes at the car and how nice it looked. It made Ichigo somewhat envious that Grimmjow was able to afford such nice objects while Ichigo was living paycheck to paycheck.

"Hey, Ich!" Grimmjow greeted.

Ichigo ignored Grimmjow. If Aizen ever found out that they were conversing it would be Ichigo's demise. There was no luck for Ichigo and Aizen would find out.

"Don't ignore me, Ichigo," Grimmjow begged. "Please, just hear me out."

Ichigo kept walking. He was getting closer to the stop light now and a few people honked their horns at Grimmjow as they drove by. Grimmjow ignored them even as a male who drove by shouted that Grimmjow was a jackass.

"Just talk to me, please," Grimmjow begged. "Have one meal with me at Ted and Deer's at the mall, please. One meal. My treat. If you feel worse after or still hate me I will leave you alone. Never talk to you again."

Ichigo stopped and turned to Grimmjow for the first time, tilting his head in contemplation. Never again? That was really persuading for Ichigo. If Grimmjow only continued to irk him then he'd never have to worry about Aizen going after him again and he was gaining a free meal out of it. Though, Aizen had given him a threat if he were to be around Grimmjow again. Ichigo thought about the pros and cons and in the end he was a dead man walking.

"Anything I want from there?" Ichigo asked.

"Yup," Grimmjow agreed. "Anything your heart desires."

 _Cogent. Adjective. Means convincing; effective,_ Ichigo thought.

"Alright," Ichigo said after a few seconds. "I'll do it. One meal and we get a booth."

"Hop in," Grimmjow said.

Ichigo looked backwards as a habit to see if Aizen was around but from what he could tell there was no one there. It would be safe to go with Grimmjow to Ted and Deer's in the mall. There was still hesitation for Ichigo to go with Grimmjow but the growling of his stomach reminded him that he needed to eat. A part of him nagged at him, telling him that he didn't deserve to eat. The other part reminded him he was only human and he didn't know the next time he'd be able to get a free meal.

The ride itself was awkward and Ichigo really didn't know what to talk about. Grimmjow was the one who filled the space and it was with jokes.

"What do you call it when Batman skips church?" Grimmjow asked Ichigo at the red stoplight.

"What?" Ichigo asked, not knowing even though he'd watched the series in his teens.

"Christian Bale," Grimmjow replied.

"…That was bad," Ichigo said but could help a smile form.

"It's what I do," Grimmjow replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

There wasn't much time until they pulled up to the mall where people were waiting for their buses or smoking. It wasn't overly crowded and Ichigo doubted there would be many people in the restaurant. As they pulled up Ichigo scanned the people who were smoking, searching for a face he'd recognize. Anyone who could pin Ichigo with Grimmjow and rat him out. Ichigo didn't know if he could handle another beating, yet there was no escape.

"You okay?" Grimmjow asked.

Ichigo nodded his head, not trusting his voice.

"Let's go," Grimmjow said.

Opening the door, Ichigo closed it and began walking with Grimmjow. His heart was beating strongly, a heavy weight on his chest. Ichigo recognized the panic he felt but he managed to talk a few deep breathes. Why would he be that nervous? This wasn't a date. This was the ending of their encounters. After today they wouldn't ever speak to one another.

Ichigo could see the worry on Grimmjow's face as he opened the door for Ichigo. A quiet thanks came from Ichigo as they entered the restaurant. It was a decent size. It'd been around for over seven years, coming around 2008. The walls were red with matching carpets. By the small entrance there was booths and beside it tables with the bar. The actual bar side was on the right where people could drink as they pleased while watching spots. There was no certain smell to the restaurant except for food being cooked. There weren't many people eating at this time and the chatter was at a low hum. A waitress spotted them immediately, grinning at Grimmjow.

"And how can I help you today?" the waitress all but asked Grimmjow, not paying any attention to Ichigo. "Table or booth?"

Grimmjow looked at Ichigo.

"Booth," Ichigo whispered.

"Alrighty then, let's get you settled in then," the woman chirped. "My name's Katie. I'll be your server tonight. If there's anything you need you let me know."

Grimmjow let Ichigo chose the booth they sat at. It was near the kitchen, on the left hand side. Ichigo figured if anyone walked in it'd be hard for them to notice Ichigo, even with the headboards on top of the booth tops.

"Any drinks I can get you?" Katie asked Grimmjow again, not paying any attention to Ichigo.

"Water," Grimmjow replied.

"Coming right up," Katie replied.

Katie almost walked away until Grimmjow called her back. Until then, a part of Ichigo felt hurt, not being acknowledged. It wasn't like he stunk, or looked bad; he was just too skinny and small. All his life he'd been a wallflower but even at restaurants he'd never been ignored like that.

 _I probably look homeless and unkempt compared to Mr. Fit,_ Ichigo thought sadly.

"I think you forgot my friend's order," Grimmjow said.

"Oops!" Katie said in what was supposed to be cutesy and giggled. "So sorry. What can I get you?"

Ichigo didn't know. He couldn't remember the last time he'd drank something at a restaurant. Pop, coffee, tea, juice, milk and water. That was all he knew. There was so many types of drinks too. Katie started staring at Ichigo with worry, like he was special needs or something.

"Pepsi please," Ichigo answered softly.

"I'll be right back with those," Katie said and left, not before looking back once at Grimmjow.

"Man, this is such a bad way to start," Grimmjow sighed.

"Could be worse," Ichigo said. "You could be flirting back.

"Naw," said Grimmjow, "not my style."

Katie came back, with both the Pepsi and a pitcher of water. She'd asked if they were ready to order but Grimmjow said to come back. They hadn't even looked at the menu yet. Katie left which gave them time to skim over the menu. There was Ted and Deer sizes for certain foods like nachos or salads. They had a variety of foods. All which had Ichigo salivating at the descriptions.

 _When was the last time I even had a burger and fries?_

There was a signature Ted's burger with bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, with smoked Havarti cheese, onions, garlic aioli and pickles. There was an option of condiments if desired with either a side order or fries or salad. There were more side orders but it'd cost extra. Closing the book, Ichigo had already made up his mind. He'd have the Ted burger. His stomach clenched and sent a wave of nausea through Ichigo but at the same time he couldn't wait to take a bite.

"I got another joke," Grimmjow told Ichigo as he closed his book. "Wanna hear it?"

Ichigo nodded his head.

"What do you call a shit in a church?" Grimmjow asked.

"What?" Ichigo asked before talking a sip pf his pop.

"A holy shit," Grimmjow replied.

Ichigo covered his mouth, spitting some of the pop on his hand as he tried to hold back the laughter. He couldn't believe he'd heard that joke. It was a good one; one of Grimmjow's best. The warm smile that Ichigo saw on Grimmjow's face started to bring butterflies to his stomach. He did that? That wonderful smile that made Ichigo seem like he was the best thing in the world. He wasn't even that important. He was nothing. No one.

"I finally got you to laugh at my jokes," Grimmjow said happily.

"Yeah," Ichigo said trying not to show his emotions. "Yeah, you did."

It was hard being out but when Ichigo looked at Grimmjow it was like the whole world disappeared and nothing else mattered. Ichigo had never felt like this before. He felt this bubbling feeling in his chest. What was that? Happiness? It was strange. It had been so, so long since Ichigo had been truly happy. They'd gotten their orders taken but that was nothing. Grimmjow ignored Katie, not looking at her showing Ichigo his full attention. Even when Katie served them their food Grimmjow still gave Ichigo more attention. The last time Ichigo remembered going out was to a bar with Aizen. Ichigo had angered him and in spite Aizen began flirting with the bartender right in front of him.

 _Somebody wants me,_ Ichigo thought. _Somebody cares about me._

The first bite of the burger had Ichigo moan quietly. He hadn't expected meat to taste so good. The noise was embarrassing and it caused him to look at Grimmjow who didn't seem bothered. If it were Aizen he'd probably call Ichigo a two-dollar whore. Yet, Grimmjow seemed happy to see Ichigo enjoying the food so much.

"Ichigo?" Grimmjow asked.

"Yeah?" Ichigo said.

"Are you still mad at me?" Grimmjow wondered.

"No," Ichigo replied truthfully. "I'm scared. I'm scared, Grimmjow. Every moment I'm with you could lead to him knowing. I'm disposable. He'll keep me, torture me and once I lose my purpose he'll kill me. I can see it. There's no saving me."

"I'll save you," Grimmjow said.

"And once I become too much?" Ichigo wondered. "When the night terrors strike. Every night I relive what he did to me. Can you handle that? Can you handle me barely being able to touch someone? What about sex? I can't give you that. I know you have needs but I can barely handle being touched let alone have sex."

"That doesn't matter to me," Grimmjow replied. "Right now I want you safe. I don't want you to worry about the what ifs. We would just be friends at first if it meant you leaving."

"Please don't do this to me," Ichigo whispered with tears in his eyes. "Don't give me hope."

"That's what you need. Aspire to be great, want for more. You're so smart Ich, can't you see that? You could be anything you want to be. An engineer, a lawyer, a doctor. Anything. The sky is the limit."

"I'm afraid," Ichigo replied.

"Of what?" Grimmjow asked.

"Falling," said Ichigo.

"I'll catch you," Grimmjow promised.

Ichigo didn't know he was crying until Grimmjow leaned forward and wiped away a tear with his thumb. It was unmanly, but Ichigo didn't care. It could cause a scene but right now it was just Grimmjow and him. No one else as there. The world didn't matter because it was just them. Ichigo for the first time in forever felt like he could leave Aizen. There was hope. Someone was ready to catch him. Someone was ready to save him.

"Come with me," Grimmjow said.

"Where?" Ichigo asked.

"On a date," Grimmjow said. "To the festival, go on rides and see the fireworks. After that, if there is anything you need we can get it. After that, you can stay with me or Szayel where it's safe from Aizen."

"Alright," Ichigo agreed with a smile, tears streaming down his face.

Aizen laid in bed, huffing as his whole body was sore. Beside him was Gin, smoking a cigarette. Their hair was disheveled but that didn't matter. It had been over ten years since they'd been together and Gin was just as good a lay as Aizen remembered. A part of him was happy to have him back but the other was sickened. The side of him that never wanted Gin again was disgusted at such a lack of willpower. Yet, here he was, lying in bed with a man he had sworn he hated.

He couldn't help it. If they had been in each other's path during high school they would have continued their affair whether they liked it or not. The attraction they had towards each other was like magnets. Two opposing forces that just had to come together.

"You know, I really missed these," Gin said.

"Tch, if you weren't such a scared li'l bitch from my dad's beating we'd have continued this," Aizen replied. "All the places in high school we could have had sex in."

Gin was right. All the places they could have had sex would be endless. There was no denying their attraction. Word would spread, his father would beat him if they were ever caught. Now Aizen was a grown man and no one could hurt him. His father was in a home now with vascular dementia or something and there was nothing he could do. There was no one stopping him now.

"Mmm," Gin agreed. "When you gonna ditch the frightened kitten?"

"He still has his purpose," Aizen replied. "He's mine. He ain't getting' rid of me that easily. If I ever find that whore around the bastard Grimmjow I'll kill him."

"Grimmjow?" Gin said. "As in Jeagerjaques?"

"Heck if I know the shithead's last name."

"He's been smitten with Ichigo since before ya met him," Gin replied.

Aizen's eyes went cold at that. There was no way he'd let someone else have what was his. Ever. Over his head body. Grimmjow was a dead man walking. After what he'd done, Aizen had to teach him to leave Ichigo alone once and for all. One or the other was doing to die and it sure as hell wasn't going to be the redhead. Aizen wanted Ichigo to suffer. The only person who ever truly cared about him now was going to die and it would be all Ichigo's fault. The guilt he'd feel from the "accident" would leave him under Aizen's thumb forever.

 _He'll never leave me now._

"Looks like I'll have ta teach that fairy a lesson," Aizen said darkly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Briar: OMG I am soooo sorry for hte late update. I've worked as a fulltime student and fulltime employee from January to March (I made it through) and got dating and stuff and got engaged. It's been a hard time and moving but I've done it. Not to mention I was suffering from a reoccurring depression with a lack of wanting to write. The ending though to this chapter, was so not planned. Enjoy.**

Ichigo had never been to Szayel's house. He'd known of him, competing with the flamboyant gay. They were rivals since grade 10 when they both had taken physics 11 at the same time. Szayel never had a rival as smart as him and in the end it fired Ichigo enough to get the best grades. Now here he was, holding a cup of tea as he sat on the man's well color coordinated home. There was a mixture of greys, whites and blacks in the living room with filigree borders were amazing. The décor was something that would put Martha Stewart to shame. The furniture was top of the line, matching the black filigree design. No doubt the lamps were hundreds of dollars and the house far too costly for those in Karakura Town. The amount of bedrooms was unknown to Ichigo. He had already seen the outdoor pool with a hot tub. It made Ichigo feel very poor with the place he called home.

"Relax," Szayel said softly. "It's not like I plan to poison you from a vendetta back in grade 12."

Ichigo knew it was meant to be humorous but he didn't laugh. He had to be grateful though. Szayel and Ichigo were around the same size and he insisted that Ichigo take one of his outfits before going out on a date with Grimmjow. God knows why he decided to do such a thing but Ichigo figured Aizen would know of gtheir breakup since he hadn't been home in quite some time.

Grimmjow was in the other room while Szayel had fun with his blank canvas. Ichigo really wasn't interested in the girly shit that was planned. They'd already had Ichigo shower, blow dried his hair and brushed it out. There wasn't much he could do, Szayel not having much experience in hair dressing. It was hard enough to get someone to come in personally cut his hair so they left his hair as is, just slightly over his ears. Thankfully there was no glitter put in his hair and Szayel didn't want to put make up on him. The man knew his set limits. Ichigo knew he wouldn't look good with gold glitter adorning his skin. Thankfully Szayel was stylish with clothing. There was a grey t-shirt that fit perfectly fine and a pair of burgundy jeggings. When Ichigo saw his reflection even if he looked good he couldn't help but scowl.

 _Man, I look just like a hipster,_ Ichigo groused. _Hot, but a hipster nonetheless. Maybe I'll fit in finally…Or people will stare. You can see how skinny I am from my legs._

Never before had Ichigo cared about his appearance but he could say he wasn't a hipster. He dressed plain; nothing too gaudy or colorful. He didn't want to draw attention to himself. The t-shirt was hard to put on and when Szayel saw the scars on his arms his eyes widened. Those vicious red marks showed off a dirty little secret he'd been hell-bent on hiding.

"You still hooked?" Szayel asked Ichigo.

Ichigo looked at the floor, ashamed of the red and pink marks littering his body. There were some faded ones that were white. The white ones had risen on the skin. They weren't ugly but they were stare worthy. The word 'sorry' was the most prominent scar and was red still from Ichigo repeatedly cutting the same spot. Every time he felt he had no worth he'd cut the word over and over again. It was like some sort of penance for the words that could never be expressed to Aizen. The man was clueless. It had been so long since Ichigo had thought about the scars littering his arms. He hadn't been ashamed of them in a long time. It was his coping mechanism; his sanity. Until now. Until Ichigo thought of what Grimmjow would think of him. Would he be angered? Disgusted? Ichigo didn't know and that was what scared him.

"When was the last time?" Szayel asked.

"A few days ago," Ichigo replied honestly. "Are you gonna send me to the psych ward?"

Szayel shook his head. "No. Not yet. I want you to stop though. I don't want my best friend to lose you. If you do cut, yeah, damn straight. I'll send you to rehab and you'll be stuck there, by yourself for over a year possibly."

"Thank you," Ichigo whispered, about to scratch his scab but stopped himself. "I…I am so scared to go there. I don't know what would happen if I ended up there. My pride hasn't let me succumb to therapy."

"I'll get you a black long sleeve t-shirt. I don't know if Grimmjow is ready to see those," Szayel offered. "I want you to start though. The therapy I mean. We'll contact mental health and let them know how serious it is. We can get through this together, all of us."

Ichigo for the first time felt shame in what he became addicted to. The cutting. It was a tension reliever and it was the only way he could stay calm. There was Ativan but that was a temporary relief. Ichigo had looked up other medicine before like Cipralex or Zolof and wondered if they'd help. That meant going to the doctor and going to the doctor would involve Constable Kisuke again. How he was right about the abuse. Even though Ichigo should tell the cops about what happened he was still reluctant to tell anyone.

 _Worthless,_ rang through Ichigo's mind.

Clenching his fists, Ichigo held back the tears as he shook. He couldn't do anything right. Nothing. It wasn't long before he was crying again, staining the shirt he wore with tears. It wasn't until he felt arms around him that he realized he was being hugged. The relief of being hugged had Ichigo stop breathing. His eye widened and he felt his body turn around and hug back. It was Grimmjow; his knight in shining armor.

"It'll be okay," Grimmjow whispered in Ichigo's ear. "I'll be here for you, always. We can get you sleeve tattoos or something to cover up your scars if you want. I'm not embarrassed of them. I'll never be ashamed of you."

"But people will talk," Ichigo choked out.

"Let them," Grimmjow replied. "They'll talk now. I don't care. I love you. Not them. If I cared what anyone thought I wouldn't be friends with Szayel."

"You'll bore of me," Ichigo said. "It'll be too much."

"And like I said before I'll catch you when you fall," Grimmjow said. "I'll be like your guardian angel. I won't be without you. Give me a call and I'll be there."

"Alright," Ichigo replied. "I'll hold you to that. Please don't betray me because I don't know if I could handle that."

"I make around twenty-seven dollars an hour now being and journeyman carpenter," Grimmjow shrugged. "You may not know it but Szayel's parents are rich."

"I don't want to take advantage of them," Ichigo replied with hot tears burning his eyes. "I'm not some charity case."

"I've been freeloading off of Szayel for years now. I've accumulated at least a month of vacation time and banked enough money to put a down payment on a house, maybe more."

"I'm an inconvenience," Ichigo argued. "What's the whole point in bothering with me? One bad day could set me off and I'll be dead."

"No," Grimmjow said. "I'll be there for you. I'm a phone call away. My job isn't as important as you are. You're my world, my life; I love you."

"Don't say that," Ichigo said with a choked sob. "You shouldn't love me. Look at these scars! Look! I'm damaged; I'm weak. Can you really walk down the street with me if I was wearing a t-shirt? Skinny old me with these ugly markings over my body without feeling ashamed? Can you handle the whispers? The stares?"

"They're your battle scars," Grimmjow said. "No one can say you're not a fighter with everything you've went through. They don't know the pain you've gone through. You're so strong and smart. You're beautiful, funny and have so much potential. You're the light in my darkness. I don't care about those scars. Looks fade but a personality lasts forever. You're who I love, you're who I want to grow old with. You're my very special person, Ichigo. Not some person named Jason, not some pretty girl named Laurie. You. You are my very special person and I refuse to let go no matter how hard you push, no matter how hard you fall I will always be there to catch you."

"You're the only person who cares," Ichigo whispered as a tear rolled down his face. "I don't want to lose you. I'd die if you left me."

"Can I kiss you," Grimmjow asked suddenly.

Ichigo nodded his head, not sure if his voice would crack or not. If he could even breathe properly was another question. He was afraid, yet this was what he wanted. The love and comfort. However, the arms that wrapped around his body as his head was pressed into Grimmjow's shoulder was not what he expected. Without hesitation Ichigo hugged back. It felt good. Damn good. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so safe, so warm. This was what Grimmjow brought him and the butterflies he felt in his stomach betrayed his true feelings. He really enjoyed the hug. The finger that gently tilted Ichigo face up from his chin had him looking directly into Grimmjow's soft ocean blue eyes. Those eyes. Ichigo felt the flip flop in his stomach again and it was like the first time he'd met Grimmjow in the convenience store. A blush tainted Ichigo's cheeks as he slowly moved forward. The kiss that had their lips touch had the flip flops increase and the need to breathe decrease. The pressure on Ichigo's chest tightened but not from fear. He felt himself slowly start to relax after a few seconds. It was then he pulled back and he could see the love in Grimmjow's eyes.

"Wow," Grimmjow whispered.

"Yeah, wow," Ichigo whispered.

It wasn't long before they were in line at carnival getting their weekend passes thanks to Szayel. They'd already missed the first day which was really just an evening of play. Today was the last full day where all the vendors were set up and fireworks would shoot into the sky at 10. It had been years since he'd seen the fireworks and he was somewhat excited to see them with Grimmjow. He felt giddy, happy. Even if he could feel the stares of people in town, people he had once gone to school with Ichigo didn't care. The scars on his body, they felt invisible with Grimmjow by his side.

Today was the day and nothing could ruin it. This was the first time Ichigo felt happy and he would relish in it. The outfit he wore thanks to Szayel was somewhat of a blessing even if the t-shirt was baggy. There was only so much one could do. Szayel had basically gone on an online shopping spree and got the fastest method of shipping. There was no place to really shop in Karakura Town and Szayel was all about fashion. All while shopping he complained about having to go to Tokyo if he were to hit the trendy stores.

"It's pretty busy today," Grimmjow noticed. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah," Ichigo replied. "I have you."

A sigh escaped Ichigo's lips as he passed people on the streets in Grimmjow's car. They drove along the street. The sun was still high in the sky, beating down on its inhabitants of Earth. Karakura Town was suffering from the heatwave still but they had rain a few days ago. The fireworks wouldn't be cancelled at least. It was the last day of carnival, the first full day and the fireworks around 10 p.m. Ichigo didn't know if he could handle the day. He said he'd be fine but that was a blatant lie. The sadness seeped into his pores and he wasn't sure how he'd make it as a date. He didn't fit in with Szayel and Grimmjow.

The three men had spent the night on the patio to Szayel's home, the latter had barbequed shish kabobs, steaks and served a nice red wine for dinner. Ichigo didn't have any of the wine and drank water instead. They had vegetables that were cooked and crisped from oil with mashed potatoes. The portion was so large and Ichigo wasn't used to eating that he only managed to eat a few mashed potatoes and some shish kabobs. It was divine regardless of how much he ate and the breakfast that the chefs prepared was far greater than Ichigo ever expected to eat. There was eggs benedict, hash browns, waffles with strawberries in red sauce with whipped cream, bacon and sausages. Again, Ichigo could barely stomach the whole meal but it had him salivating to eat such a scrumptious meal. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a meal so grand. The flavors that exploded on his taste buds had him moaning and relishing in the flavor. After so many television dinners, if Ichigo hadn't barely eaten he'd most likely have high blood pressure by now from the few meals he did get to eat. The difference in how they dined, how much money they had and the lifestyle showed that this wasn't where Ichigo belonged. The first night that Ichigo had food made for him made him want to cry. It was overwhelming having someone cook for him and allowing him to eat something.

"Ich?" Grimmjow asked, startling Ichigo from his thoughts. "Babe, are you alright?"

"Fine," Ichigo answered distantly, not sure if he was or not. He couldn't tell Grimmjow the truth.

"Ich, look at me," Grimmjow said as he encased Ichigo into his arms with a hug.

Ichigo tried but instead rested his head on Grimmjow's chest. There was hesitation and Ichigo wasn't sure he wanted to meet Grimmjow's gaze in fear of anger of judgement. Ichigo\s heart was beating rapidly and his throat constricted tightly, making it hard to speak.

"Ich, talk to me please," Grimmjow softly spoke. "What's wrong?"

Tears gathered at the corner of Ichigo's eyes and he shut them tighter in attempts to keep them in. The tears from stress and exhaustion finally reached him. He felt his body shake and the tears finally escaped, shaking him to the core. Ichigo felt like a failure, like he shouldn't feel that way. He barely slept even without Aizen being nearby. The fear that kept him awake at night that Aizen would come back for him was maddening. The thought alone that Aizen's friends would see him was terrifying. Aizen always got what he wanted and Ichigo knew that. One day Aizen would come for him and kill him.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo finally managed to gasp.

Grimmjow's pointer finger gently touched Ichigo's chin, titling his head up and causing him to look at Grimmjow. A look of concern and worry was all Ichigo could see on Grimmjow's face.

"Oh Ich," Grimmjow whispered. "I love you. You're so important to me. Is this too much for you? Do you need to go home?"

Ichigo shook his head. No. He wanted to see the fireworks and ride on the rides that he hadn't done since he was of how much fear he felt, it had been so long since Ichigo had attended carnival or even gone on an outing. No. He refused to ruin his chance at happiness.

"Let's go on a ride," Ichigo suggested in a hoarse voice. "How about the sizzler, that looks like a fun one."

"Okay," Grimmjow agreed and leaned in to softly press his lips against Ichigo. "I love you."

Ichigo didn't know how to respond after hearing those words for the second time in under a few minutes. It was startling to hear but even if it brought some anxiety it also gave him warmth. The feeling that would be akin to happiness bubbled inside of Ichigo's chest.

 _This is real,_ Ichigo had to internally remind himself. _He loves me. He truly loves me. I don't know if this is some stupid type of shallow, puppy love but he has serious intents._

 _But how long will he be able to handle all the suicidal thoughts and depression?_ The voice of doubt asked Ichigo.

That was true, Ichigo knew that. Mental illness were combative and he'd be a fool to think it'd be an easy finish. Now that he'd suffered from depression Ichigo knew he'd be more susceptible to relapse. It was an illness just like someone with an addiction. Every day was a battle to not go backwards to where they once were.

 _Pathetic_ , the voice spat at him.

It made Ichigo feel unhinged mentally to hear his own self-hatred appear and have him think such terrible thoughts about himself. It brought him down and now that he had a semblance of happiness he didn't want to lose it. That was what he desired. Ichigo didn't want to be sad anymore. Ichigo didn't want to die. Figuratively on the inside and literally on the outside.

Ichigo stood on his tip toes and leaned forward to give Grimmjow a kiss on his cheek. There were scoffs of disgust in the background but Ichigo looked away. No matter where he went people would scoff and chastise him for such forms of affection. It didn't matter if Karakura Town was becoming more acceptable of the LGBT community, people could be homophobic as hell and no one would stop them in fear of social rejection.

"Let's get on that ride," Ichigo said as he held his head up high in attempts to ignore the scorn he received from simple public affection.

They were paired together and the ride was only a few minutes long of going back and forth. Moving fast and slow. As a child the sizzler seemed to last way longer but as a grown adult with a bigger concept of time it was short. The sudden jerks agitated Ichigo's wounds and he tried to keep his face neutral. The groans of pain that wanted to come out were silence and thankfully the music was loud so even a Ichet whimper could be passed as nothing.

The rides had long lines, some going for twenty minutes and those were the more exhilarating lines like the Salt and Pepper shaker, the Gravitron or the Octopus. The rides that reIchred less tickets had short lines and it wasn't until they were near the spinning strawberries that Ichigo was stopped by Grimmjow.

"Let's go on those!" Grimmjow pointed out.

"Spinning strawberries?" Ichigo asked, surprised.

"Because I love you berry much," Grimmjow said with a silly grin.

Ichigo chuckled at that. No matter what it seemed Grimmjow had a pun that could make Ichigo smile. It was magical. The way Grimmjow made Ichigo's heart flutter when Grimmjow smiled at him. There wasn't much that made Ichigo happy nowadays but spending time with Grimmjow, realizing what love was helped a whole lot. The warmth that he felt when Grimmjow held him at night was relaxing, the soft kisses though strange felt nice. When Grimmjow held Ichigo it felt good, real good. It was soothing. It had been so long since he had any affection that wasn't questioned. It was nice. All good things came to an end. Unknowingly for Ichigo, his fairy tale would soon come crashing down and it was the villain who was successful, not the hero.

"Let's go," Ichigo said with a smile on his face.

There were no lines to the spinning ride and they got on with ease. The ticket holder saw their wrist bands and when they got on, they waited for a while and only a few others got on. They were checked and the doors were safe and soon they were off. Slowly spinning. Grimmjow had shown Ichigo a trick on weight distribution to get them spinning at least three or four times. It was so much fun and it had Ichigo smiling brightly. The wind whipping in their hair, hot air hitting their faces. Grimmjow had whispered how he loved that smile and kissed Ichigo on the cheek causing him to blush as red as the fruit they were in.

What was more interesting about the spinning trick was the ticket holder who jumped on and off the platform. It was cool to see. Ichigo wouldn't ever be that brave to do something like that. It wasn't until they began to slow down that the man came around and let the small metal gate doors open.

"That was fun," Ichigo said as they moved from the exit.

"Yeah," Grimmjow agreed. "I'm hungry and the fireworks should start soon."

"I'm not hungry," Ichigo said, "you get something though."

"You haven't eaten at all today," Grimmjow protested. "You'll eat something good. Get some meat on those bones. I bet you're starving."

"I'm not good at eating," Ichigo said sheepishly. "It bothers me. Probably something I've been conditioned into. I am not quite too sure…um…can I have cotton candy?"

"Of course," Grimmjow said. "Anything your heart desires.

 _So much different than Aizen_ , Ichigo thought.

However, before Ichigo could even take a step forward he saw a familiar face. Terror was dumped on him like a bucket of ice. Tousen. Tousen, Ulquiorra and Nnoitra were Aizen's friends. If they saw him now he was screwed. They would tell Aizen and he'd come for him. No way in hell that was going to happen. Without a second thought Ichigo made a mad dash towards the beach where the vendor booths were. Tousen and the other were headed the other direction, towards the Salt and Pepper shaker. Ichigo wasn't aware if they had seen him in his dash for safety. Grimmjow didn't say anything and Ichigo was unaware if he'd followed even as Ichigo moved around people. He knew Grimmjow could easily catch up. The burning in Ichigo's chest was evident.

 _Please don't have Aizen here,_ Ichigo begged silently. _Please._

Adrenaline coursed through Ichigo's body as he kept running down the small gravel hill and along the path. He could have passed Aizen and Ichigo would never know until it was too late. Grimmjow still hadn't caught up to Ichigo yet and it was clear how he'd been lost in the crowd. It was just as Ichigo passed the tarot reading booth that he bumped into someone, their hands immediately going to his upper arms. The tight grip on his arms had Ichigo's heart beat hard in fear. He knew that touch. Looking up, Ichigo couldn't hide the sheer terror as he saw Aizen staring at him with a sadistic smile on his face.

"Hey baby, miss me?" Aizen asked.


End file.
